It's heavy.

So you may notice my sort of bipolar range of emotions over the last few posts. lol. Well, I have absolutely no idea how to calm myself. Right now I think my thoughts are so sporadic that they are not really confusing me but leading me to a little anxiety. It's a mixture of excitement and fear for the future; sadness and mourning for the past; uncertainty and questioning of the present. I just woke up at 5:30 am and think I slept about 12 hours straight. MY body hurts now. lol.I think my body and mind have both collapsed me. I needed the rest though. I have been running around all week and I'm not done because I have to sing today. 3-4 days in the gym, 2 days walking, at work 5 days and none of that includes the mental preparation I'm going through with my future. I am both looking forward and dreading all the work I must do. I'm tired just thinking about it. Oh well, nothing comes to us just by sitting there thinking about it so I'll suck it up. In one year, I want to look back at this blog and see a major difference in my life, my attitude, my level of happiness and confidence in my abilities to be an individual in a world of clones. Stay tuned. This will be interesting. Good Morning.