Don't Stop Your Own Growth

2010 is rapidly coming to a close and many people will start to take stock in what they have accomplished this year.

Is my faith in God stronger than it was last year?

Did I get the job I wanted?

Did I go back to school?

Am I healthier?

Did I find the man/woman of my dreams?

How have I made my life happier?

These are just some of the kinds of questions we tend to reflect on when analyzing our current state of affairs.  In all our questioning and reflection, we hardly ever look at the things we have done that may have hindered our growth. We lean more towards reflecting on the things we could have done to make things better. One way to ensure you change your way of thinking and propel yourself into a place of accomplishing your goals is to, first, be honest about the things you have actually done to hinder yourself. I don't mean dwell on them; just acknowledge them. Knowing where you went wrong or where you could have done something different will cause a red flag to go up the next time you are about to make the same mistake. Now whether or not you choose to make the same mistake is totally up to you but just make sure you are willing to deal with the outcome; good or bad.

It may have been a relationship that began or ended and you are looking at where you are in it right now. Did you have little stupid fights over nothing? In that case, what would you have done differently? Did you think all was well but it suddenly took a turn down a strange road and now it's over? In this case, what signs did you miss that could have told you it was ending?

Sometimes, things just happen. It's not that anything was your fault or that anything could have been done differently.  Don't beat yourself up about it. Maybe everything turned out better than you expected? Could you have made it even better? Who knows? All I know is 2010 held both happiness and sadness for me; discouragement and encouragement; despair and hope. I can reflect on this year and see that I trusted others more than myself. I doubted my ability to be a great woman. I minimized my external and internal beauty and I spent too much time in regret of all I had not accomplished. I had many many great days full of happiness and laughter but as always, the sad days seem to linger.

I cannot guarantee that 2011 will be full of only happy days but I will tell you this, with all my power, it will be a heck of a lot better than 2010. I'm closing several chapters and gearing up for new ones. I have written about the hope for my future and family, I still have it.  All the people I have loved in 2010, I still love.  I have realized that some of those people I have to love from a distance.  I have to love Tara up close and in person. Get ready! 2011's a comin'! 

My Future and It's Light

For the last 24 hours my heart and mind have been totally detached from reality but as always, reality wins and all is restored to normalcy. I want all wonderful things for my family and friends but I know that we cannot control everything that happens in our lives; even when we try to control them.

I am reaching for whatever it is God has for me. I want to strain to reach it because I see it and if I stop now I will never touch it. I think, to often, we place ourselves in tough positions then give up on our dreams because we say life is hard. Yes. Life is hard but we have choices in every single step we take in this life. You can choose to go left or right; do wrong or right; say yes or no: be up or down. WE CHOOSE! Doesn't matter how many kids you have, how hard you job is, how much you want or how little you have; you have a choice as to which path you take and whether or not you want to be happy or live a happy life despite difficult times. I'm going to be fine. I hope you all will be also. Believe you will and guess what? You just may.