I wish I could go back to the days when I laughed louder, smiled wider, danced with reckless abandon, thought clearer, and viewed the world and my life as having great potential. Sadness was not a constant and the fall into myself was not as fierce. My heart could sustain. My mind was not so exhausted. You thought someone cared enough to hear you, see you, care about you. I grossly overestimated my percieved reality.

"Sometimes, it snows in April. Sometimes I feel so bad. Sometimes I wish that life was never ending but all good things, they say, never last."

The Challenge to Say "No"

Have you ever found yourself in a position where you were either too fearful or simply too nice to tell someone "No"?

Some of us have been told our entire lives how important it is to be nice and accommodating that we missed the lecture on it being okay to say no. No is a powerful and liberating word. Because you may find it necessary to use this word, that does not brand you a bad person nor does it brand you a difficult person. Sometimes, it is simply necessary to decline an offer or say no to a request.

We get stuck on the idea of what people will think of us if we do not say yes to everything and the unfortunate side effect to saying yes all the time is people think you will always say yes and may become dismayed at your audacity to stand before them and tell them no. Even if you say it with a genuine smile and love in your heart, they will hear that "no" with anger and judgement, thus creating a perception of negativity.

Unfortunately, as difficult as it is for some people to say no, others have a hard time hearing that word. I don't know if they have never been told no in their lives or that they have this expectation that they are not suppose to be told no but it's very daunting to be in a conversation with someone who expects everything to go exactly as they wish without regards to anyone else's feelings, perspectives or wishes.

When someone is not making you happy and they don't even hold a real stake in your happiness or your life, in general, "No" can be your best friend. I recently experienced a back and forth situation with a guy overseas that pretty much "claimed" me despite the fact that "no" has come up many times. Even after I told him how unhappy he was making me, he continued as if I hadn't spoken a word to him. Ummm...yeah, nope.



My ability to say "no" and my happiness are two of the most valued things in my life so I refuse to let anyone rob me of either. I have said no to people I have been deeply in love with and have said no to people I highly respect. If someone is not a vested member of your life, stop giving them the ability to make you unhappy or place you in positions where you find yourself regretting your decisions or fearful to be honest. Love is no different. I was insulted and told so many harsh things that were not true about me and you only have to say one bad thing about me that isn't true and it's lights out.  Now, if you say something bad about me and it's true...yeah, I'll eat that and keep moving.

 We "nice" people tend to get our feelings hurt more when people react to us in a way that we are not use to in regards to our character and the type of person we try to be. When anyone's integrity is attacked, regardless of who the attacker is, you should always be ready to stand, defend your own honor and say "No, you will not control me by trying to tear me down." Anyone who says they love you does not if that is their preferred method of trying to control you. Love, affection, relationships are not about control. Unfortunately, some people don't know that but you have something on your side that is life altering. You have the power to say "No".

No. I will not let you hurt me.
No. I will not allow you to control me.
No. I will not allow you to convince me that I am less than I am.
No. I will not accept the harsh and mean words you use towards me to make yourself feel more powerful.
No. You do not care about me.
No. You cannot love me with a hateful spirit.
HELL NO!. Iown wanna talk to you no more. (lol, okay you may actually have to say that and say that EXACTLY like that)

No can lead to beautiful things if you aren't afraid to say it. Sometimes you may even have to say "no" to something you think is great to get to that thing that is amazing.

Do not forget to say "Yes" to the wonderful things that can happen in your life. We need both yes and no just as we need light and darkness, cold and heat, sunshine and rain; life is a gradient experiences that requires polarity thinking. Sometimes we need one thing more than the other for a reason. Just be sure to keep the other on standby. Never know when you'll need it.

B@Peace loved ones. #VibrateHigher #143

TRU Ess