Shooting your shot was much different in the late 80s and 90s. Even if you were terrified, you had at least one friend who pressured you to say something. Sometimes that "friend was good intentioned, and sometimes, yeah, they wanted to set you up. I experienced the latter. Stupid teenagers.
As a teen, young adult, and now an old lady (Yep! I'm claiming it.), I've tried to see into my future (hope and dreams...blah) to how my life could possibly turn out. Well, I'm in the future of my past and let me tell you, "life for me ain't been no crystal stairs", Howeveeeeeer, in retrospect, I realize the withered rickety wooden staircase I've climbed to carefully get here has been and continue to be a series of lessons I've never asked for but, at some point, become mandatory wisdom to navigate this great and sometimes bullshit existence. Either way, I'm here.
Recently, I've examined my relationships (romantic, platonic, and familial) and the more I reminisce about my younger me (grown grown pre-adult) and how I envisioned my future, I've only ever seen me. Yeah, at some points I thought, hey maybe I'll find my person and we'll ride out this foolish timeline together but with love. That vision never really stuck for me. I look at how communication has played a part in how relationships develop and to tell the truth, what used to be felt in and through love letters just isn't the same as it once was. Maybe we weren't mature enough to know that the letters on the pages of our youth were no comparison to the conditioning if our adulthood. Our lifetime has been conditioning. From the first "no" were are taught as a baby to the belief systems we are brought into, to the societal expectations that so many people believe they have to adhere to. From who to love, how to act, how we move; I often wonder do we really have free will or choices when our decisions are based on how we fit in with society? IDK but I'm learning that most of us that don't fit the mode society expects us to, are often single and actually okay with it.
Here's the thing, SOME PEOPLE 🙋🏾♀️ would love to be in relationships, however, we can take it or leave it. If we choose love with someone else, especially a cancerian such as myself, it can be amazing. If I choose to leave it, oh, I can pamper and cater to my own needs, be self aware, tap into my spiritual energy and still be kind and in service to other who need true empathy and compassion. Whatever happens in my weird future, I'll be fine. All I know is that who ever is up next, I hope they write love letters. ❤️ 😏 No, not "WYD?" texts. Not "What you wearing?" texts. Not,"send me some pics of you playing with yourself." Because Im going to send pics of my playing UNO by myslef with two hands. And not pics of 🍆s. I had a whole folder of the history of unsolicited 🍆 pics. No pretentious messages trying to prove you know everything. What you know will simply come out in conversations. Love Letters.
Finding love is not just telling someone what they mean to you or what type of person you're looking for. You know, that checklist people have?
Pause...
*It's not lost on me that everything I'm writing seems like a checklist. It's not. Just observations.
...resume.
Love Letters are uninhibited expressions of affection (not always sexual. Clean yo mind!!!) What I mean by uninhibited is being so secure in your autonomy to choose who to love without consideration of what others will think or say; basically, no fear of judgements. I am acutely aware that with loving me come judgement. In my engagements, I've learned that being convenient was the benefit. Love? As long as I don't fall in love. What I've learned, in my experience, is that they (the guy of fell on any part of my timeline) never wanted me to fall in love, not really. They wanted access and an allowance of a time monopoly at their discretion. The lack of my desperation foiled their plans.
Okay, wait. Back to love letters. Lol
Remember, if you will, the stories of soldiers in foreign wars, thousands of miles from home in a foxhole, fighting adversaries to their nation. All of that and they had pen and paper and wrote love letters to their "gals", wives and girlfriends back at home.
Bammas today can even text "Hey. Thinking about you." Literally 10 seconds.
But I digress. 🙄😪
Love Letters are still cool. I'm GenX so yeah. They're still valued and as I think of potential future probably partners, I don't think I have no real hard-lined perspective. These days are way more free flowing than before.
OOOOOOOH! I did a Hint sketched soulmate thingies. 🤣🤣🤣 Wanna see him? Smh
Know this, a soul mate does not equate to a romantic love of your life or future love. Even if they aren't romantic, friends can write love or loving letter. We all wanna know someone somewhere love us with reciprocity.
How are you loving and do you feel that live returned?
That's it. Lmao that's all I got.
~Stay TRU💋
