What's up, my homies?
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU ALL!!!
Despite the fact that people are whining about this day being a commercial holiday just to spend money, there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a day for everyone to focus on love. Sure, sure, sure, we are supposed to love everyday and show it everyday but the truth is we get so caught up in the hum drum of everyday life we sometimes forget to show appreciation for one another. The people who are so focused on having to pay money for dinner or flowers...bammas.
Love doesn't require you to buy anything to show appreciation but there are nice things to help you to say "Babe, I appreciate you." Some couples don't celebrate the holiday and they agree it may be a waste of time. Hopefully, that couple shows love on a regular basis but if you don't, sometimes people start to wonder if they are really loved. Flowers may not necessarily prove that but the effort won't hurt.
If you are too broke to buy a flower, a card and spend time with the person you love then you have bigger problems to consider than Valentine's Day but that's a story for another time.
As for me, I like expressions of love. I like the effort made to show romantic gestures of love. I am a romantic but haven't had the opportunity to be openly romantic as much as I would like.
Valentine's Day didn't become commercial until the 19th century but has been around well before it was about purchasing cards, candies and going out paying way too much money for food for one night.
***Note: Nothing wrong with purchasing cards, candies, and going out paying way too much money for food for one night. I'm just saying.***
I'm not stupid and I know people are so afraid to spend money on Valentine's Day so they poo poo it but man, oh, man. Some of the best gifts are things that take thought, effort, time and love. Please don't forget the love part. Don't let the person think you're going to express love for them and you say some crap like "I really like you. We're good together." or sigh your card "Happy Valentine's Day! From ..."
BITCH, YOU BETTER PUT SOME LOVE ON THAT DAMN CARD. LOL
Please sign it "Love, ..." or "I love you. Love..." because if she/he doesn't see the word "love" on the card it WILL hurt their feelings. I know it doesn't make sense to some people (and trust, many guys are just as or more sensitive as some women) but if you know your girl/guy like hearing the words...please say them if you love them. I'm just trying to help you out.
***NOTE: IF YOU DO NOT LOVE THE PERSON, DO NOT SAY "I LOVE YOU." DELAYED HURT FEELINGS ARE STILL HURT FEELINGS. BE HONEST. OKAY, YOU DIDN'T HEAR ME. TELL...THE...TRUTH! OKAY. SEEMS I HAVE TO SAY IT LIKE THIS FOR SOMEONE TO GET IT.
ha!
OH, AND DO NOT BE A DOUCHE AND LEAD THEM ON.
don't tell them they are the love of your life then tell someone else the same thing. Don't say words you don't mean. Don't lie just to get sex. Don't let them believe you are all in for them and your heart isn't really there. Save the drama and be up front about feeling. I mean don't wait until Valentine's day but you know what I mean.
Okay, I seem to have gone off the rails so let me refocus. lol
Love is wonderful. Despite whether you like the holiday or not, if your loved one likes or loves it, make the effort. Relationships are not about always doing what the other person wants but you do have to lay down your feelings every once in a while to indulge the pleasure and happiness of your mate. When you love someone and like to see them happy just take one for the team and indulge WITH them.
Oh, how was my Valentine's Day? Thanks for asking. Ha!
The thing about love is that you can express and show love for almost anyone. Wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, Mom, Dad, siblings, etc.; you get it. I chose to spend the weekend with my cousin that I don't get to see often. From Friday night to Sunday night (Valentine's evening) we had a wonderful time just talking, going out to different restaurants and eating GREAT food, drinks, movies and other fun things. The thing about Valentine's Day is that it has become about more than romantic love. It is the celebration of love...period. I enjoyed this weekend. I have to say it has been the best Valentine's Day I've ever had. That's great but terrible. lol
I'll conclude with this: Don't wait for someone to come and show you love and affection on a day that celebrates all that love is. Love yourself enough to promise yourself to purposely be happy. I have been sad many times but I have grown to know that I have the power to change my mood and attitude about how I feel by actively being a part of the plan for happiness for my life. You can be happy, too. Find someone who loves you just for being you and spend time with them enjoying life. If you're single, it may be tough but embrace your inner self and you define your happiness. It's so fulfilling and even if you get sad you can draw from what you have learned about yourself and what makes you happy. GO! Be happy! Spread love...to everyone especially yourself.
Sunday, February 14, 2016
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Okay okay, I concede.
As of late, I have endured stressful times and some notable mood changes. Not necessarily swings though but we all know that Valentine's Day is coming up on the 14th of Feb which is 5 whole days away. For me, however, this will be a cousin's weekend with one of my favorite cousins. Both of us are single so we decided that screw Valentine's Day. It will be a fun filled weekend with movies, food, games, outings, etc. I'm more excited for Valentine's Day this year than previous years simply because my cousin want to have fun and I don't have to worry about gifts I won't receive, cards that will never make it to me or people stressing over plans they won't be making anyway.
I have been saying lately that I don't believe in romantic love anymore. That's not true. I do. I just don't believe in romantic love for me right now in my life. I don't believe I would benefit from it until I pull my life together for myself. I believe love can be the most beautiful thing in the world but I have lost faith in people so it's hard to believe in a beautiful thing like love if you can't believe in the vessels that suppose to embody love. Yeah, it's challenging but love is still and always will be wonderful thing. My choice to love these days belongs to me. I have tried to love others without fully understanding how much I should love and appreciate all of what and who I am. I can't love someone else fully while partially loving myself. All that I am working on for my life requires my full attention. My hopes for romance, if I do have hopes, is that when I am finally whole and in a place of complete contentment with my progress and success level, someone else's complete self will be attracted to my completeness.
I will no longer give my wholeness to someone who isn't complete. We all are ever growing in who we are and are to be but you can come to a place where you are happy with where you are and anything else will make life that much better.
I am happy to love. I will be happy to romantically love again. I want people to love. It's a fulfilling component to life. Loving isn't the issue. It's the trust and vulnerability that scares people. I confess it scares me as well but I think that you have to take a chance on love. Risk. We have to be willing to risk heartbreak in an effort to have our hearts desires fulfilled. It's really a 50/50 crap shoot but for the right person, it could prove to be worth it.
My coworker asked me if I wanted to have a baby. Such a random question. I told her I did not want to have children. If I have not had them by now, I wouldn't be having any. I understand that married people want their single friends to have the wives/husbands and kids as well but I have removed that component from my plans. Now I have no idea what God has in store but apparently He may be in agreement with the no kids plan for me. (shrug) I don't know. Anyway, love is great. I don't understand if everyone grasps the vital life changing and saving factors that love holds. It's not just something to say to convince someone to sleep with you, not be mad at you, said out of habit or to get you something.
If you never say the words "I love you" to someone, they should be able to feel it through your actions and the ways you show them love. Money isn't love, not to say buying a gift doesn't show love but love is a radiating energy that comes from the soul and when someone loves you, it's like you can feel their love just by standing in their presence. THAT'S the kind of love I hope to have one day. A love where they look at you and you feel like you are falling into their eyes and being absorbed into their essence; feeling their need for you on a greater plane than sexual, financial, or even emotional. When you really and truly love someone, especially romantically, it's important to love that person the way THEY receive love and not how you wish to receive love. If I feel love through communication and time shared, those are the ways that I will know you love me. If your way of being loved is touch and encouragement, trust me, I'll touch and encourage you because I know those are things that touch the core of who you are.
sigh.
I guess I do believe in love.
Sometimes you just have to say or write the words to convince yourself that all is not lost.
Loved ones, please experience the fullness of love. It's never to late and don't settle for the imitation of love. Hold out for the real thing. You won't be sorry.
Sunday, February 7, 2016
Some days you just sit.
Sup?
I'm alright. Thanks for askin'.
Well, the truth is I'm not that alright. I'm trying to be. Actually, I'm pretty tired of trying to be okay. Forgive me if this seems a little down in the mouth but that's the point of this blog. Honesty in emotion, love, life and everyday beauty or crap that affects us or me rather. I think "us" because by an extension of our essences I believe we all are intertwined via spirit and emotion on this physical plane.
I have the blogs for my writing and the entertainment and style but this one is for the purpose to release what's inside about love and life. Sometimes, it's more than I care to share. Sometimes, it's more than others care to read or hear. Sometimes, it's simply self therapy since I don't have the money to hire a counselor. Sometimes, it's just a series of statements that I know no one will or wants to acknowledge; questions no one will or wants to answer. Some may see this as venting; others as complaining. Some may feel many different ways about it but none of that matters. The only thing that matters is how I feel when I place the last punctuation mark behind the last word and hit the "publish" button.
Simply put,
I sat today. For a while, with just my earbuds in my ears, I sat and listened. With certain songs on repeat, stared at the ceiling. In spurts, visions flashed in my mind of almost every event in my life. Those events, remembered and forgotten, all danced together as if they knew one another. They introduced themselves to my dreams, remembered and forgotten, new and old; amusing my memories. In every flash of something slightly familiar I felt like I wanted to grab onto them and examine each one to find a valid reason why I feel how I do; why I am how I am and when would I stop feeling this way. Time after time, each memory slipped through my fingers as water in a torrential downpour.
I had a dream last night. A love gone by was there as were some friends I rarely see but the most important part of the dream was the group of what looked like a parade of voodoo priests and priestesses marching through the streets of what looked like a university during some sort of school celebration that turned into something scary and dark. My friend and I, with her younger sister, just took off running and running so we could get away from the chaos. I don't know. At some point, on the way to my friend's house and during all the chaos, I needed to stop at Target to get a coat because I was cold.
SMH
Dreams; plain ole cray cray.
I don't believe every dream has some deep msg that is meant to change your life or warn you of something. Some dreams are just dreams but because of all I've been going through, I feel this one speaks to the darkness and the light that are battling inside or what it appears to be the detachment from my spiritual self. Spiritually, I've been torn for the last several months. When there is a riff in your belief system, that is the point where other more sinister ideologies may creep in. Maybe they aren't sinister more than they are just idea to help you question what you firmly believe or if there is a hybrid belief system brewing in you that really doesn't speak to the words people have told you about God or anything else. Maybe at some moment every experience you've lived is validated by God in its genuine spiritual knowledge and you develop a true relationship with THE entity that rules the universe and they give you truth; not as man has written but as it is.
Ooooor maybe I just need to stop stressing over things I can't control.
I don't know. Solitude, for me, only brings more questions. Maybe if I write a book of questions, someone will write the book of answers.
I'll write about love but I feel each day the idea and meanings for love move farther away from me. At this moment, this very moment in my life, I am not sure I can take another blow. I'm kinda lying on the ground now so the next step, if I take another hit, will be for the ground to open up and swallow me whole. I'm not sure I'd mind.
Sounds depressing but I think it's just that sometimes, some of us try so much and so hard to the point that we don't know how to try anymore. Some view it as giving up but I don't see it that way. I see it as I simply can't lift my arms to be pulled up anymore. Sounds lazy doesn't it? smh
Well, with all that's in me, I continue. If I have to just sit for the rest of the day, I will. I'm not equipped for this world and it has expressed to me that it has no faith in me either.
I'm going to punch the world in the fucking face.
With love...smh
peace y'all.
I'm alright. Thanks for askin'.
Well, the truth is I'm not that alright. I'm trying to be. Actually, I'm pretty tired of trying to be okay. Forgive me if this seems a little down in the mouth but that's the point of this blog. Honesty in emotion, love, life and everyday beauty or crap that affects us or me rather. I think "us" because by an extension of our essences I believe we all are intertwined via spirit and emotion on this physical plane.
I have the blogs for my writing and the entertainment and style but this one is for the purpose to release what's inside about love and life. Sometimes, it's more than I care to share. Sometimes, it's more than others care to read or hear. Sometimes, it's simply self therapy since I don't have the money to hire a counselor. Sometimes, it's just a series of statements that I know no one will or wants to acknowledge; questions no one will or wants to answer. Some may see this as venting; others as complaining. Some may feel many different ways about it but none of that matters. The only thing that matters is how I feel when I place the last punctuation mark behind the last word and hit the "publish" button.
Simply put,
I write because someone else feels how I feel sometimes or knows someone who's going through a difficult time and they don't always know how to communicate what's wrong or how they feel. A lot of people don't even know why they feel the way they do. All they know is that they feel. Intensely feel.
I sat today. For a while, with just my earbuds in my ears, I sat and listened. With certain songs on repeat, stared at the ceiling. In spurts, visions flashed in my mind of almost every event in my life. Those events, remembered and forgotten, all danced together as if they knew one another. They introduced themselves to my dreams, remembered and forgotten, new and old; amusing my memories. In every flash of something slightly familiar I felt like I wanted to grab onto them and examine each one to find a valid reason why I feel how I do; why I am how I am and when would I stop feeling this way. Time after time, each memory slipped through my fingers as water in a torrential downpour.
Can you catch the rain and hold it with only your open palm?
I had a dream last night. A love gone by was there as were some friends I rarely see but the most important part of the dream was the group of what looked like a parade of voodoo priests and priestesses marching through the streets of what looked like a university during some sort of school celebration that turned into something scary and dark. My friend and I, with her younger sister, just took off running and running so we could get away from the chaos. I don't know. At some point, on the way to my friend's house and during all the chaos, I needed to stop at Target to get a coat because I was cold.
SMH
Dreams; plain ole cray cray.
I don't believe every dream has some deep msg that is meant to change your life or warn you of something. Some dreams are just dreams but because of all I've been going through, I feel this one speaks to the darkness and the light that are battling inside or what it appears to be the detachment from my spiritual self. Spiritually, I've been torn for the last several months. When there is a riff in your belief system, that is the point where other more sinister ideologies may creep in. Maybe they aren't sinister more than they are just idea to help you question what you firmly believe or if there is a hybrid belief system brewing in you that really doesn't speak to the words people have told you about God or anything else. Maybe at some moment every experience you've lived is validated by God in its genuine spiritual knowledge and you develop a true relationship with THE entity that rules the universe and they give you truth; not as man has written but as it is.
Ooooor maybe I just need to stop stressing over things I can't control.
I don't know. Solitude, for me, only brings more questions. Maybe if I write a book of questions, someone will write the book of answers.
I'll write about love but I feel each day the idea and meanings for love move farther away from me. At this moment, this very moment in my life, I am not sure I can take another blow. I'm kinda lying on the ground now so the next step, if I take another hit, will be for the ground to open up and swallow me whole. I'm not sure I'd mind.
Sounds depressing but I think it's just that sometimes, some of us try so much and so hard to the point that we don't know how to try anymore. Some view it as giving up but I don't see it that way. I see it as I simply can't lift my arms to be pulled up anymore. Sounds lazy doesn't it? smh
Well, with all that's in me, I continue. If I have to just sit for the rest of the day, I will. I'm not equipped for this world and it has expressed to me that it has no faith in me either.
I'm going to punch the world in the fucking face.
With love...smh
peace y'all.
Friday, February 5, 2016
A Shining Star
This will be a quick post because it's after midnight and I really should be up for work in about 4 hours.
My heart was broken not more than 6 hours ago after learning that the world has lost such a talented and beautiful songwriter and musician that I have looked up to for years. Maurice White, founder and former front man of the unbelievably incredible awesome group, Earth Wind & Fire; also known as simply EWF or The Elements. I cried. I mean every song I listened to in Maurice's memory brought a stream of tears to my eyes. This man penned music that transcended the mere compositional structure of music and breathed life and soul into lyrics that climbed off the paper and out of the radio, taking you on a trip through time, space, emotion, love, destiny, history, self love, awareness and humanity.
My heart is broken but I'm so glad we have so much wonderful music to listen to and think of Maurice. As I listen to EWF ballads to sing me to sleep, I will remember Maurice's glow and exuberant life while we had him here. He battled sickness since his retiring in the 1990s and lived with Parkinson's Disease for a long time. I grieve this master of life and love set to music and honor his memory. Though this is tough, I was glad to hear that he passed away peacefully in his sleep. He wrote and sang of love, peace of mind and loving yourself enough to love others as well. The inner strength EWF often sang of is something everyone, no matter who they are, should know and feel inside.
There are too many legends and pioneers in entertainment leaving so quickly this year. It feels like someone is dying almost everyday.
Love one another. I know I doubt love sometimes but we need it. All of us. Time is fleeting and we'll look up to only experience our last breath and wonder what we could have done differently, better or at all. Loved ones, don't let time move forward without you embracing and accepting all that love is and all that it means. Love is easy. People are complicated. Let's stop making things so difficult for love's sake. Love is Written In The Stone.
My heart was broken not more than 6 hours ago after learning that the world has lost such a talented and beautiful songwriter and musician that I have looked up to for years. Maurice White, founder and former front man of the unbelievably incredible awesome group, Earth Wind & Fire; also known as simply EWF or The Elements. I cried. I mean every song I listened to in Maurice's memory brought a stream of tears to my eyes. This man penned music that transcended the mere compositional structure of music and breathed life and soul into lyrics that climbed off the paper and out of the radio, taking you on a trip through time, space, emotion, love, destiny, history, self love, awareness and humanity.
My heart is broken but I'm so glad we have so much wonderful music to listen to and think of Maurice. As I listen to EWF ballads to sing me to sleep, I will remember Maurice's glow and exuberant life while we had him here. He battled sickness since his retiring in the 1990s and lived with Parkinson's Disease for a long time. I grieve this master of life and love set to music and honor his memory. Though this is tough, I was glad to hear that he passed away peacefully in his sleep. He wrote and sang of love, peace of mind and loving yourself enough to love others as well. The inner strength EWF often sang of is something everyone, no matter who they are, should know and feel inside.
Thanks Maurice. This Earth will never be the same without you.
There are too many legends and pioneers in entertainment leaving so quickly this year. It feels like someone is dying almost everyday.
Love one another. I know I doubt love sometimes but we need it. All of us. Time is fleeting and we'll look up to only experience our last breath and wonder what we could have done differently, better or at all. Loved ones, don't let time move forward without you embracing and accepting all that love is and all that it means. Love is easy. People are complicated. Let's stop making things so difficult for love's sake. Love is Written In The Stone.
Maurice White 1941-2016
Rest Peacefully
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