Banjo Baby Days

Banjo Baby Days

Another poem by TRU Essence

Plucked against the wishes of yesterday’s expectations

Life heads in a direction all its own

We hear random sounds in the distance that resemble the strumming of a favorite tune

Forever resonating beyond the forests filled with numbered memories

Soon to be forgotten

With hands in our cotton-lined pockets

We stroll down the streets where the souls of yesterday rest on the branches of the new developments

Looking over us

Looking out for us

Looking into us

Seeing the things we keep from everyone else

But they see

They see it all

They see the smile on the faces of those of us who hear the familiar melody being strummed perfectly

to the beat of our footsteps and we smile

And they smile

And we all slowly fade away

For What It's Worth

For What it's Worth
Another poem by Tru Essence

For what it's worth I tried to care
I wanted to care
I held care closer than a heartbeat some days
Slow motion laughter accompanied a caress of love
The way we spoke of love without saying words
The way we made life feel amazing amidst our individual and collective struggles
Your struggle was mine and mine yours

It was different 
We were different
Who was I with you
A girl made of glass
Sometimes smudged
Sometimes too fragile to handle 
Yet withstood torrential downpours threatening my structure

I, she, we still stood
We were different

For what it's worth
Love never completely leaves
Love prioritizes my needs
Love chooses me when no one else does
Love is not selfish but refuses to let me self-destruct
It is the cause and cure of every ache my soul has endured

Children can wipe away tears before they fall
We never quite returned to that understanding
"I don't want to see you hurt"
A child that consoles knows more secrets to life than the old and the foolish

We cradled hope in shared thoughts until one day one of us let go
Maybe both
Maybe love was
Maybe love won't again
But for what it's worth
I wanted to care
I held care closer than a heartbeat some days
Until there was no rhythm left to hear

Unrequited - Part II (Dreaming by Day)

Unrequited - Part II (Dreaming by Day)
Written by the same as the Part I



I dream of her
awake
I see, in the distance, a silhouette of perfection
drawing closer to see the truth of my desire
love is nice
desire is lovely
obsession is bondage
she holds me captive from a distance
from a distance, I can feel her turn away
and pretend not to see me
pretend not to hear me
pretend not to know me
she pulls me apart at the seams for her pleasure
she is amused that I care
she is amused that I dare think of her

I think of her

I realize that each thought weakens me
my strength lies in not knowing her
not thinking
not feeling
not wanting
my strength lies in my ability to disappear
so I will disappear
only that she may find me from a distance
unintentionally

Unrequited - Part I (Unrequited Love)

Unrequited - Part I
(Unrequited Love)
Written by TRU Essence

she popped into my head
I don't want to think about her
but she's there
raven hair, deep eyes and peach lips as soft and shimmering as the sunlight dancing upon the ripples of deep water
taking up space in my thoughts
space reserved for holding the secret of the universe
the space reserved for love and love reciprocated
she just strolls in and without a word, commands my attention
I should feel, I don't know
joy?
happiness?
desire, maybe?
but, alas, I feel rejection,
fear, shame and, to some extent, chastened

what did I do wrong, other than be myself?
am I wrong?
not in deed or speech; thoughts or feelings
but am I wrong for being myself?
the me that I think I am or the me that I think I want to be
the taste of rejection is bitter, no sweet
I cringe to think my thoughts became audible

now she knows
she knows what has been hidden for so long and
it has been dismissed as folly
she walked away with my soul and never turned around
to see me fall to the ground

At some point the pain has to end.