I Wanna Love the Way I Do.

I wanna sing.

      I wanna be happy.

       I wanna dance.

I wanna be happy.

I wanna draw.

I wanna be happy.

I wanna write.

I wanna be happy.

I wanna play.

I wanna be happy.

I wanna talk.

I wanna be happy.

I will pray.

I will be happy.

I'm sitting here thinking about all that I would like to do with my life.  I know it's not too late to do any or all of what I want to do or too late to be who I want to become. I have had many stumbling blocks; physical, psychological and spiritual but I persevere. I have to.  I have had some wonderful people come into my life and some of them have either departed this life or just departed my life but I have learned something from them all. I have learned that I am a talented young woman and that the way I love people means something to me. Even if my love is not reciprocated or at least accepted, I can move forward knowing that I have an extraordinary capacity to love people.  I hesitated to pour my heart into people but all I can say now is you get the love back that you put in. Even if the people you pour your love into don't return it, there is always someone waiting to give you back interest on your return. 

 

   

Last year, I let go of a few people who were friends. I didn't want to but I guess some things we have little control over. Now I have so many wonderful people in my life that I never expected but have become great friends. They let me laugh and cry (at Denny's over breakfast!!!! lol wink!). They let me pout and sulk. They let me talk and be quiet and most of all they know my love and comfort me when I'm hurt.  You know when you love people without hesitation or caution you seem more susceptible to being hurt and since I don't want to love less I know I will be hurt. These friends help me deal with the anticipation of hurt but encourage me to not dwell and be a better version of myself.

God knows what and who I need. I'm glad He never runs out of resources!

Hitting My Literary Stride

I love writing. Anyone who has ever received a note, letter, commentary or any written correspondence from me knows my love for formulating thoughts and ideas via written words. It's pretty darn awesome, I must say. I am finally sitting down to the several novels I started a while ago and embracing them again.

One of the books I'm writing is very emotional for me and the crazy thing about it is that I'm picking up, emotionally, from where I left off a couple of years ago. What I mean by that is when I was writing the book before, there were parts that, literally, made me cry as I was writing and when I was looking over my pages yesterday, I found myself being touched by the words on the page. It was surreal; as if I didn't write the words myself. I hope that, when I finish writing this first book, everyone who reads it will feel similarly about it as I do. I have 3 works in progress. I would like to complete at least 2 before the end of the year but I'm pushing for all 3 and some of the short stories and short film projects I'd like to complete. I feel good about writing at this point in my life.

The first book was originally going to be about the women in my family (mom's side of the family) and their likenesses and differences as women, wives, mothers and their relationships with one another but I turned more towards my life for some insight into the thoughts of my main character. This book isn't about me but the main character has a heart similar to mine so I can write for her with no problem. It is still a family story kind of book but has a wonderful story.

My second book is about the love affair between a woman and a young man, not quite 18 years old, and how this relationship affected the life and the relationships this woman had with family and friends and the toll it took on her career. How much is she willing to sacrifice for what some called a "stupid decision" and what she called "unstoppable desire"? We'll see.

The third book is more personal to me. This one is more truth than fiction but I won't say which is fact or fiction right now. lol. You'll have to read it to know. I like this book, especially because while writing it, I'm learning more about myself as a person, a lover, a friend, a sister and a daughter.  This is about finding, loving, losing, longing and letting go of the love of my life.  It'll be sad, of course, but I think it's so much in the book that is good, fun and enlightening to people on how to love yourself enough to not hate someone who has hurt you.  For me, it's a healing experience so I can't wait to finish it. This is the book that 40 years from now, my family will read and they will be able to connect with Tru, the person and not just Tru, the writer.

I'll keep ya posted on my progress. Gonna go home now and do some writing. Until next time, loved ones...
~Stay TRU