As I move effortlessly into 2011, I find myself questioning the goals I have set for myself this year. To question these goal on the 11th day of the 1st month is quite daunting. Granted, I will go through this feeling at least 300 more days this year. Ha, funny thing is that as I type this, I am listening to Jango.com and Richard Smallwood's song "Healing" just came on. The first line to the song is "Don't be discouraged."
Whatever I was going to write has just transformed into encouragement for those going through something. This life will challenge us and we all need some kind of healing and as Richard sings in his song, there is a balm in Gilead to heal the soul.
"There's healing for your sorrow;
Healing for your pain;
healing for your spirit and shelter from the rain.
Lord, send a healing.
For this we know, there is a balm in Gilead to heal your soul."
I am encouraged for not only myself but for everyone who longs for change in their lives. We are not blessed according to what we done or even who we are but WHOSE we are. God's love is so remarkable, unchangeable, unshakable and unmovable. We try to have a love like this but most times fall short. Loved ones, there is something in each and everyone of us that reaches for something or someone to give us an indication that we are on the right path for our life. We are only human and we make mistakes. Anyone willing to condemn someone for being human with a reasonable margin of mistakes don't understand their own level of humanity. We tend to want to be forgiven but are slow to forgive others and those who say they don't care if someone forgives them is only fooling themselves and have no intentions on extending forgiveness to others. We forget that even in our pray to the Father, We agree and make a pledge, basically, that God should forgive us as we forgive others. How many people say that prayer and has yet to forgive someone but expect God to wash away each sin and cast them into the sea of forgetfulness? Too many, I feel.
Even more, we tend to forget to forgive ourselves. In my mind, the biggest part of moving past obstacles and finding the ability to accomplish goals and achieve our dreams is to forgive ourselves for our shortcomings, our doubts, our weaknesses and anything we think is imperfect about ourselves. The funniest (hmmmm funny, not haha funny) thing about all of this forgiving and imperfection is that no one walking this earth is perfect. Not one. So many people fall and stay down without even an attempt to get back up so when someone comes and tries to encourage them to move, stand, start moving, they are so used to being down that they don't understand why anyone would want them to stand and move. Some people don't even know how to stand anymore. I feel like that is me sometimes but I do know how to stand up. I do know how to move. I learn more and more each day that I am more than my shortcomings. I am more than that thing I called a failure. I am more than the looks I get from people when I think they don't like me. I am more. I have absolutely no clue what God has in store for me this year.
A few years ago I thought that by 2011 I would be done with school, in a relationship and have my own business. Well I'm not done with school. I'm not in a relationship. I am restructuring the business I started a few years back so that I can move forward. I feel God's hand on my life. I don't want to mess up. I feel bad sometimes. My emotions teeter between knowing and understanding my position and feeling bad for not grasping all He's made available to and for me. For the latter portion, I forgive myself. He's granted us one more day. Let's take it and make it what it should be. Be blessed loved ones.
Next time, I'm sure I'll have a story that entertain you with more TARA: 30 SOMETHING, SINGLE IN THE CITY AND DISGUSTED . The disgusted part basically deals with something I have done, haven't done or the general attitude or actions of other crazy people. Should be fun.
MUAH!!!!!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
"Shall Old Aquaintance be forgot..."
And we are now in the year 2011 and it is such an awesome place to be. I remember at one time in my life when I was excited and wondered how it would feel to see 1990; then 2000; and now we are in 2011. Loved ones, I am simply grateful for this moment.
Anyone who has been with me over the last few years knows that the last two years or so have been some of the toughest years I have had. 2010 started with a love for someone else and 2011 has started with an undying love for myself. 2010 started with fear and no job and financial struggle. 2011 has started with hopefulness and full time employments that allows me to take care of many things that will help make this year an awesome year. 2010 began with a prayer thanking God for keeping me and asking him to help get me to where He wants to see me. 2011 begins with the same prayer from the same heart and thankful lips. 2010 began with people in my life that, as 2011 begins, are no longer visual in my world. I thank God for their presence but I'm even more grateful for the new people that have become a part of my family.
In 2010, I have had to embrace and release love. I have had to reveal pain so that it may be released and I can forgive others and myself. In 2010, I have embraced change in my lifestyle regarding my health and will continue to do so in 2011. Lessons have taught me to not be as transparent in the new year but never be afraid to expose my heart when it comes to loving someone and to acknowledge when I am hurting so that someone may help catch the tears if I need them but I am praying that any tears falling in 2011 will be from happiness more than pain.
I am embracing my gifts. I am loving my talents. I am feeling my beauty and accepting the beautiful, sensual, loving, intelligent, unbelievable woman I am and I am to be. I pray anyone who enters my life from this point on will be a part of the plan to develop TRU's positive and caring future. I want to help more people; give more; show more love; dry more tears; teach more and reach more.
I am wishing everyone in my path and peripheral a grand and phenomenal New Year!
It starts now...let's get to work!!!
xoxox...Stay TRU!!!
Anyone who has been with me over the last few years knows that the last two years or so have been some of the toughest years I have had. 2010 started with a love for someone else and 2011 has started with an undying love for myself. 2010 started with fear and no job and financial struggle. 2011 has started with hopefulness and full time employments that allows me to take care of many things that will help make this year an awesome year. 2010 began with a prayer thanking God for keeping me and asking him to help get me to where He wants to see me. 2011 begins with the same prayer from the same heart and thankful lips. 2010 began with people in my life that, as 2011 begins, are no longer visual in my world. I thank God for their presence but I'm even more grateful for the new people that have become a part of my family.
In 2010, I have had to embrace and release love. I have had to reveal pain so that it may be released and I can forgive others and myself. In 2010, I have embraced change in my lifestyle regarding my health and will continue to do so in 2011. Lessons have taught me to not be as transparent in the new year but never be afraid to expose my heart when it comes to loving someone and to acknowledge when I am hurting so that someone may help catch the tears if I need them but I am praying that any tears falling in 2011 will be from happiness more than pain.
I am embracing my gifts. I am loving my talents. I am feeling my beauty and accepting the beautiful, sensual, loving, intelligent, unbelievable woman I am and I am to be. I pray anyone who enters my life from this point on will be a part of the plan to develop TRU's positive and caring future. I want to help more people; give more; show more love; dry more tears; teach more and reach more.
I am wishing everyone in my path and peripheral a grand and phenomenal New Year!
It starts now...let's get to work!!!
xoxox...Stay TRU!!!
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