Hi.

He thought he knew her. He thought she was a gentle ghost from his past; a past where the two of them shared a bit more than just a moment in time.

He remembered when they shared and what they shared, what felt like an eternity, in just a few glances.

His start complemented her end and between the two a perfect dance commenced with the objective being clear: we.

He pushed while she pulled, giving them both the strength to move mountains. Together, they moved MOUNTAINS.

When the back roads became impassable, they took flight and made their path easy. Though not the easiest of tasks, they, together, dominated the ideas of challenge and difficulty so that what they had would standout from the mirrored image of everyone else's mediocrity.

They were extraordinary.

They were not as everyone else; complacently waiting for life to happen.

With each extension of a hand, life returned to them and made itself bigger.

He looked into her eyes and saw love and illusions.

Cradled  in her bosom where the secrets of what he thought he knew but did not have the heart to ask.

Was she real?

She seemed real.
Her scent enticed every sensation he remembered he had.
To look upon her gave his heart a satisfaction no other could comprehend.
To hear her laughter sent waves of electricity to every limb and overwhelmed him with a delight that fancied that of the pure joy of life.
To taste a kiss so sweet, heaven sighs and lies back to marvel in its genuine beauty and wonder.
To feel the caress of a wanting love; becoming breathless at the thought of standing face to face in anticipation of a united effort of affection.

He needed to know.

Was she real?

It felt like days; weeks; months, endless time that he stared at what seemed familiar and he wondered "How can legs take steps that the heart refuses to?"

In one moment, he remembered everything he believed to be real. A lifetime of echoed laughter down haunted corridors reminding him of the pursuit of love. He remembered the feeling of dissolving into someone else's caress in his net of safety and feeling the world disappear around him.

He wondered was he the lost one; wandering around hoping to find someone familiar.

He wondered but he couldn't take his eyes away as she walked up to him.

"Hi."

i feel me changing
i try to tell myself "don't do that. don't touch your head. don't touch your face. be calm. don't shake. don't twitch. don't let people see you falling a part. they will call you 'insane' and they may be right."

maybe it's my penalty. i tried to leave. i wanted to but i couldn't

maybe it is my penance that i slowly see myself disappear into darkness.

i tried. i did try. i cried out for help and saw more emptiness. i try with what i know because i can still see myself but feel me fading. i can't focus. it has become involuntary, these movements that let the world know that something isn't right. it feels like being paralyzed on a train track as the train approaches.

i tried to leave. i called for him but everything was quiet. i wanted to be yellow again but i'm purple and stuck. i see the lightening but i was trying to get back to yellow but i'm purple. there is no more normal.

if i keep writing, maybe i will remember.

i don't remember her. i don't remember me. if i stop moving, maybe the quiet will calm me.
i don't know.
i don't know.
i don't know.
i don't know.
i don't know.
i don't know.
i don't know...

The trouble with having a soft heart

I saw myself floating away
I saw myself stuck in a space of paralyzed fear; too scared to reach out to me
The me left behind with glassy-eyed sadness of regret from a life laden in harsh emotion
I could no longer reach me
I can no longer be me
I wept because I cared
I weep because she didn't
She never knew the love she deserved because it never appeared
Not even to a child that never felt the embrace of true compassion

now as she departs, all that's left is a tear with her universe inside
falling to become a part of the memory of existence
she will never touch it again
I can never touch it again
feeling the memories burning through the fabric of a tortured heart
I want to turn my head one last time to remember that she/I/we did exist
if no one ever speaks of us again
We know we were here
and we wanted to love
and be love
but only one of those things happened
so now we drift into the void

What I tell the me I've lost

some days you have to remember who you were so you won't forget who you are.

only out of the darkness will you appreciate the light.


don't give up.

Life's Love Lesson #7384

The Energy of Love

By: TRU Essence

I braced myself as his eyes met mine
feeling something unusual
confusing
enticing
inviting
it pulled me closer to a pulsating invisible force

so powerful, the connection of two people
unknown were the consequences for sharing a moment of intensity
quivering, quaking, shaking
without one touch
a look of completeness in the center of a chaotic existence

I inhale this moment and it fills me with everything I'd longed for
prayed for
hoped for
everything I desired to feel and become
my heart pulled as if trying to escape to reach his
if it escapes, it will surely be the end of me
so I holds back so that I may live a little longer

he sees in me, something he's seen in no one else
and his mind becomes light with the essence of all I am in this moment
eyes meet with looks that tell the deepest of secrets
held inside, hidden away from poachers who come to claim all that is good and distort them into a menacing vision of all the bad things life may bring

They close, his eyes, yet they flutter at the anticipation of what could be
not knowing or even expecting to experience a feeling so strong for someone who, instantly,
became his heart; his breath; his love

how can two shiver at the unknown but long to experience the warmth love could bring
was this love
was this true
was this just another moment in time with no particular footprint to be left behind
or was this a moment that would replay as if deja vu for many days to come
many years to come
recycled visions of him standing so close that his love radiated from him
I never imagined feeling so much of him
receiving the sheer truth of what we were and were to be

We stood there in awe at the other's potential to be the best thing we'd ever known
then a single tear falls and he catches it

He now holds my world in his hands

This Kiss

It's amazing how a simple kiss can say an excitingly beautiful "hello" or make you feel empty.

A kiss is a story teller. It's tells someone the level of passion you feel, it's a welcome or a goodbye. A kiss can tell someone if you are lonely, apprehensive about love, longing for closeness and it can even tell someone that you are uncomfortable or nervous.

A kiss can trigger you to stay or leave. The connection or disconnection in many relationships can be felt in a simple kiss. A kiss is not merely foreplay but the foundational element to a bond of passion.



My observation, especially now, is that anyone who wants to be with you physically but avoids kissing you doesn't want an intimate bond. That may work for some but the kiss...I don't know. There's just something about the kiss.

The Sun For The Moon

The Sun For The Moon

by TRU Essence

I was the night and he, the day

I was the moon and he, the sun

No matter how we longed to be at one place

In the same space

At the same time

We were too different

He, demanding and fierce

Me, emotional and moody

We, passionate and loving but with boundaries

Neither one of us were aware of

I saw in his eye the need to be loved

Wanted and appreciated

He was unaware that I saw everything else as well

The longing he tried to hide behind ego and strength

Moonlight triggered my essence to expand and grasp the energy that propelled

Me towards loving him 

but he lie asleep and unaware

The sun rose and he was there to be my covering 

but I lie asleep and am unaware

The light was too harsh for me

Too bright for me

Too commanding for me

My shell protected me from the lion’s roar

I mistook it as anger

He intended it for love

The protector wanted to flow within the heart of the nurturer

but he was unsure

Unable to be honest with himself

To tell me who he was and what he wanted

The duality of our lives

Neither saw the other fully

The sun needed the moon

The moon desired the sun

From the earth, we appeared in the same sky

But too far apart to touch

Yet we were as far apart as the east is from the west

Neither shall meet at once