Life's Love Lesson #7384

The Energy of Love

By: TRU Essence

I braced myself as his eyes met mine
feeling something unusual
confusing
enticing
inviting
it pulled me closer to a pulsating invisible force

so powerful, the connection of two people
unknown were the consequences for sharing a moment of intensity
quivering, quaking, shaking
without one touch
a look of completeness in the center of a chaotic existence

I inhale this moment and it fills me with everything I'd longed for
prayed for
hoped for
everything I desired to feel and become
my heart pulled as if trying to escape to reach his
if it escapes, it will surely be the end of me
so I holds back so that I may live a little longer

he sees in me, something he's seen in no one else
and his mind becomes light with the essence of all I am in this moment
eyes meet with looks that tell the deepest of secrets
held inside, hidden away from poachers who come to claim all that is good and distort them into a menacing vision of all the bad things life may bring

They close, his eyes, yet they flutter at the anticipation of what could be
not knowing or even expecting to experience a feeling so strong for someone who, instantly,
became his heart; his breath; his love

how can two shiver at the unknown but long to experience the warmth love could bring
was this love
was this true
was this just another moment in time with no particular footprint to be left behind
or was this a moment that would replay as if deja vu for many days to come
many years to come
recycled visions of him standing so close that his love radiated from him
I never imagined feeling so much of him
receiving the sheer truth of what we were and were to be

We stood there in awe at the other's potential to be the best thing we'd ever known
then a single tear falls and he catches it

He now holds my world in his hands

This Kiss

It's amazing how a simple kiss can say an excitingly beautiful "hello" or make you feel empty.

A kiss is a story teller. It's tells someone the level of passion you feel, it's a welcome or a goodbye. A kiss can tell someone if you are lonely, apprehensive about love, longing for closeness and it can even tell someone that you are uncomfortable or nervous.

A kiss can trigger you to stay or leave. The connection or disconnection in many relationships can be felt in a simple kiss. A kiss is not merely foreplay but the foundational element to a bond of passion.



My observation, especially now, is that anyone who wants to be with you physically but avoids kissing you doesn't want an intimate bond. That may work for some but the kiss...I don't know. There's just something about the kiss.

The Sun For The Moon

The Sun For The Moon

by TRU Essence

I was the night and he, the day

I was the moon and he, the sun

No matter how we longed to be at one place

In the same space

At the same time

We were too different

He, demanding and fierce

Me, emotional and moody

We, passionate and loving but with boundaries

Neither one of us were aware of

I saw in his eye the need to be loved

Wanted and appreciated

He was unaware that I saw everything else as well

The longing he tried to hide behind ego and strength

Moonlight triggered my essence to expand and grasp the energy that propelled

Me towards loving him 

but he lie asleep and unaware

The sun rose and he was there to be my covering 

but I lie asleep and am unaware

The light was too harsh for me

Too bright for me

Too commanding for me

My shell protected me from the lion’s roar

I mistook it as anger

He intended it for love

The protector wanted to flow within the heart of the nurturer

but he was unsure

Unable to be honest with himself

To tell me who he was and what he wanted

The duality of our lives

Neither saw the other fully

The sun needed the moon

The moon desired the sun

From the earth, we appeared in the same sky

But too far apart to touch

Yet we were as far apart as the east is from the west

Neither shall meet at once

When the world stops...then what?

Some days, like today, you wake up and you just need/want/plead for the world to stop for like 5 minutes so you can get your bearings but let's say that happens. Then what?

What do you do with those 5 minutes that will make a definitive difference in what you are, who you are, what you wanna do, who you want to be, the next steps to take, who loves you, whom you love, what/who to keep, what/who to let go of, etc.

What is it, in those five minutes of complete stillness, that will set in motion a new movement, a new idea, a new objective that will, without doubt, be without challenge?

Nothing.

I wanted the world and everything around me to just stop for a few minutes so I can see, observe my current situation without time "getting in the way" but in those few minutes what will be so different from me trying to figure out life at the same time life is happening?

It's hard to describe but I do believe we need that 5 uninterrupted minutes of absolute stillness. I know that the world can't simply stop, especially for me, but I can stop. I often feel the whirlwind of the next necessary decision weighing on me and other people's expectations of what I should do for my life creeping closer and closer. One minute I have my entire life planned out and the next I can't see five minutes in front of me. I don't think I'm unique in this problem. In fact, I think most people go through this. If you don't and have never experienced this frustration and have every moment of your life perfectly planned out, well then here's a slow clap of kudos to you. (CLAP...clap...clap...)

I hope you can appreciate my sarcasm. lol.

But seriously, each day presents individual challenges. We have good days. We have bad days. We have days where we're not quite sure if they are good or bad so then we have to acknowledge the neutral days where we are just beings roaming the earth.

Today has been challenging. Over the last week or so I have had many situations pop up from me being a total rock star among friends and colleagues to days where I feel utterly disconnected from myself, my spirit and my world; lost, if you will. Today I'm experiencing the latter. I know it's just for today but the frustration I have is not with others, it isn't with God, it isn't with my idea or what or who God may or may not be, it's not even the fears I face on a regular basis that hinder my forward movement.
My frustration is in not knowing.

Not knowing what to do.
Not knowing who I am at this moment.
Not knowing who I'll be tomorrow.
Not knowing what direction to take despite everyone else apparently knowing what I should do.

Gee, thanks.

The craziest part of all this frustration is that I KNOW that I can sit for a while and in this whirlwind of craziness that is partly created by my own hesitation, I can map out my next steps and feel okay that I'm going to be able to move forward but the problem is I can move forward towards...what?

sigh


Okay here is one of my biggest problems. You all shall serve as my temporary counselors. Thank you, kindly.

I don't know what my  passion is. I've struggled with this fact about myself for years now and even if the world completely stopped for 5 minutes, will the answers come? I'm not even sure what the questions are.

Is the world just too loud for me to hear or feel this "thing" I'm suppose to be so passionate about?

I use to deny my talents. Not that I didn't know I had them but I never embraced them completely. I do SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much and when it's all said and done I feel like I've done absolutely nothing. I can do SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much but when I'm ready to move forward to perfect one of the many somethings I am capable of doing, I get lost all over again. It...is...FRUSTRATING. I take time to think, meditate, have quiet time to figure out these things for myself but it still feels like my thoughts are being infiltrated by the distractions of the world; other people, other's successes, rain...(shrug), almost anything that will make me turn my head or tune into something else other than my thoughts and objectives for my life. I know. I know.  I feel like I'm fighting myself. I am my own distraction but when I'm focused, I can't seem to block out the world completely. I need that. I need to be suspended in my own thoughts so that I can come out and be who I know I can be or to just be a fixture in a world that needs me somewhere for something very specific. I wish what that specific thing was.


Frustration is also coming from seeing the people closest to me move onto wonderful opportunities that some have worked extremely hard for and others, well, it's nice to have opportunities come and you be able to say yes. Not saying they didn't work for them but some people live charmed lives. I don't hate that. I just know that in comparison to my own life, sometimes it just feel bad to know that I can work 5x as hard and not get 1/4 or what others get.

Life's kinda fucked up that way. I keep telling myself do not compare my life to others' but I think it's like a natural reflex we have. The Comparison Reflect (coming soon to a theater near you...not really)


But no matter what happens or how I acknowledge my struggles, I wish everyone well and turn back to focus on my 5 minutes of stillness from the world. After I get the 5 minutes, then what? Will I ask for another 5 minutes? If that's granted, will that additional 5 minutes be enough? Probably not so I try to find my five minute in the middle of the chaos, questions, uncertainty, fear, hesitation, sadness, frustration, clarity, hunger and hustle of the day I stand in.

"I can't feel the ground
someone let me down.
I never felt so high as I do now
it's too good to be true
I don't deserve you
I've never felt a love strong enough to
Stop this world from spinning."

What's so funny to me right now is as I wrap up this blog, I'm listening to Ne-Yo and his song "Stop This World". I'm listening to the lyrics and it is a love song but I would love to feel this way about my life, my future, my passion for who I am and am to become and someday someone else who will feel the same for me but for now, maybe tomorrow I'll stop the world from spinning.

B@Peace
Love

When you have loved and lost...

It hurts to say goodbye but you wouldn't trade the good times and lessons learned.

You'd rather they be happy than miserable with you.

You remember the love daily but embrace newness without them.

You find yourself looking for their face in a crowd knowing they are not there.

The things that made you both laugh makes you laugh alone and sometimes you hope that the same thing is making them laugh at the same time.

You look up at the moon and know that at some point in time the two of you will be looking up at the same time.

You will never be able to listen to certain songs the same again.

Ne-yo songs make you cry.

When you go to a new place, you automatically think "Man, they would have loved this."

You feel a tear form at the thought of how deep you loved them.

You wake up at random times and wonder what they are doing then upset yourself because whatever they may be doing, you know it's not with you.

You appreciate being happy and laughing knowing if you allow yourself the moment to remember, you will fall into those hurt feelings.


You find yourself reliving the exact moment you two became strangers

You see someone approaching you that you think is them and your breathing changes and you get closer hoping it's not them then get a little sad when the person passes you and you realize it's not them.

When you finally allow yourself to love again knowing it could end but you trust your own heart.

You continue to love.

MOOD...GOOD MORNING :)

LEAVE IT TO NE-YO TO SEXIFY THE ENTIRE DAMN DAY WITH IMAGES OF A VERY  GOOD MORNING. 

SEXY!

This is the best start to a wonderful day! ;)

Enjoy! 

How Low Can You Go??????

This appears to be a Luda, Jay and Kanyon kinda night so at this moment I'm rockin' "How Low Can You Go" in my ear. ( I know it's Kanye. I call that bamma Kanyon)

GO LOW!

This man is a fool, I tells ya!  It's been a challenging week for me. Well last week was. There was unbelievably strong emotion that poured out of my eyes and made me feel stuff. smh All the feels. Disappointment at work. Oh, I'm good at what I do it's just other people who don't communicate thus, creating confusion and disappointment. Then the week, just as I thought I was feeling better...a trip to the ER. Still recovering but as always, I press on and keep moving. Not literally though. I was told to take it easy. I should have kept my butt home today. AAAAAAAAAAAAAANYWAY... LOL

This week I'm feeling the residual effects from last week but even with this crazy heat, I'm so good. Talked to a friend I hadn't talked to in a while and he reminded me that I can still be silly for no reason. Work? Meh. I have SOOOOOO much to do that I can't sit by and dwell in momentary obstacles. Testing for my training certification, prepping to start school in the Spring, move (where? I don't know yet), business outline done and pulling in clients to get down to the essence of what I'm suppose to be doing.

Question.

Have you truly assessed your talents and all the things you are capable of doing that could sustain your lifestyle independently? 

It's been an amazing year with a few bumps but so much is happening that I'm very excited about. Recently, I became a partner in a real estate group and I am EXCITED. I am one of many but I am excited to see what we can do as a group. When you see the power of what a group of African American entrepreneurs can do, your independent confidence soars. 

We'll be ready to purchase our first property in about a year and that's cool because it's a building process.

(get it? Building? no? not funny? I know. Sorry) 

I have so much happening (good things over bad) that I have to get my hype music ready for when I'm in my flow or productivity. For some reason, I'm on my Watch The Throne chill right now . Ni**as in Paris (like you don't know what the word is with the **. smh) appears to be my shit right now. lol It's one of my hype me up tracks. lol

YOU ARE NOW WATCHING THE THRONE! 

DON'T LET ME INTO MY ZONE!

I'M DEFINITELY IN MY ZONE!

(DISCLAIMER: IF YOU ARE AT RISK OR SUFFER FROM SEIZURES, THIS VIDEO MAY TRIGGER SEIZURE. NOW WHY THE HELL WOULD SOMEONE MAKE A VIDEO THAT COULD TRIGGER A SEIZURE??? JUST STUPID. LOL

KANYE AND THAT DAMN SKIRT. HIS ASS ISN'T SCOTTISH SO NO, I'M NOT CALLING IT A KILT. IT'S A SKIRT. 

also I'm not responsible for any subliminal messaging through the imagery of this video. They not slick. lol

BONUS!!! OTIS IS MY SHIT! 

PEACE OUT HOMIES!!!! 

LOVE!