A Crack in Your Perfect Heart written by TRU Essence

All he wants to do is love me
He doesn't even fully know why
He doesn't even really know how
but he is willing to try

He will try to give his all
even the limited parts
he will try to make me happy
by the definition of what happiness seems to be
in his mind
his mind is beautiful
limited but beautiful

Shouldn't he be loved in return
for all his love he is willing to turn over to a stranger
his satisfaction in just a minuscule portion
of me would suffice
he would give me all he could
if only I would love him, just for today
maybe even tomorrow
he would love me forever

We talk and I try to get him to understand me
after a while, I realize I'm the one who does not comprehend
the simplicity of what we crave
what we have to offer
the simplicity of what really matters
I want to take my words back
my words are bitter to his sweet ears
they are challenging to his open heart
giving him reason after reason why I cannot be the one
some bogus
but mostly honest

He wants to feel me
He wants to fill me
He wants to keep me
He wants to be kept
I lie awake staring at the ceiling as text after text come through
pleading for a moment
a chance
an ounce of understanding
to give him a chance to prove he could love me

oh, how he could love me

tears fall as I know he will never clearly understand
this rejection
no one should feel this rejection
he pleads for another chance
He makes himself transparent
unfortunately, he still cannot understand my transparency

he apologizes
says "I'm sorry"
when there is no sin he has committed
only wants to love and to be loved in return
He wants me
maybe because I was the only heart that responded to his
maybe because my nature has brought me to many heartbreaks myself
maybe because we both desire the same thing
I'm just too much of a coward to confess it
I see his need and it rivals my own
only for someone else

he can't articulate his pain so words come forth
in random order
placing me at his feet
placing me in his shoes
hard to understand
hard to follow
hard to understand why I can't understand

I begin to apologize
I say "I'm sorry"
or maybe it's a confession
I am sorry
I have sinned many times over
never truly finding redemption

I sit on the floor in a dark corner of my room
watching my phone light up
his pleas come through
one message at a time

I sob
because I never should have said "Hello"


and now I feel like shit