The Hook Up

Life's Love Lesson #90900

The Hook Up

If you have a heart, you still have the capacity to love.

I have decided that I would try to keep my blog more on the side of the positive aspects of love. Not to say I won't write about heartache at all but even in heartache, remembering the good things about love helps you cope; even if just a little. 

The last year has been uber crazy but I'm good. I ended 2015 with a decision to walk away from a few "ships" that weren't taking me anywhere. I loved them. Well one, the others I just liked a little bit but nevertheless, I had to release whatever they were but love, in all that it is and can be, is always good.  I haven't dated much since last June and honestly, I don't really want to date much but I guess you have to get to know people some way or another.  I bring up the dating thing because I have made mention before how none of my friends or family have ever asked me about my dating life or if I wanted to be fixed up or ever even suggested setting me up with anyone. I guess if they don't feel I'm that appealing then they would think someone else wouldn't find me attractive. 

FUCK THAT! I'M HOT!!!! lol

Anyway, I have realized that what other people call flaws in me are the perfection of who I am. I wouldn't be me without them so, yeah, I'm great. I'm not gonna go into self improvements. That's not my point for this particular blog although everyone can use some improvement. No one's perfect but sometimes, when you are happy with loving yourself, "flaws" and all, the improvements are not necessarily to fix something that is broken. The improvements are more like enhancements. Anywho...

So yesterday, one of my sweet and crazy coworkers comes in my office and says "Are you single?"

My first thought was "Oh God, Why?"

I said "Yeah. Why?" This crazy woman says "I have this friend who asked me if I knew any nice single women and I told him most of my friends were married but I did tell him I worked with a few single women.  I told him about you." 

I said "Now why are you telling people about me?" lolol. She says "I have a picture of him on my phone at my desk." So of the four of us in the office, I'm the only single one. My coworker asked her if she was married and she said "No. I was married but that ended last year. We were together a long time."  

Okay, so now my question is "Why are you trying to set me up with the supposedly great guy and you are single yourself?" I smell some fish somewhere. 

My first question was "How tall is he?"  She said he's pretty tall. He's taller than you. 

O_O

That didn't answer my question. If he's 5'6" he's taller than me. I told her I need someone at least 6'4". lolol. 

Shiiiiii...

Dated a guy last Fall and he was about 6'4". Yeah. I like tall.

Anyway, I walk to her desk and she shows me his picture and I start thinking again (because that's what I do).  She has a picture on her phone. She's single. She says she talked to this guy then says she doesn't know if he has kids or not and that she knows him through a friend. That means she doesn't really know him well. Because I know how to add 2 and 2 together, I'm assessing that maybe someone tried to fix him up with her and she didn't want to date him. lol. Maybe not but I'm not the dumping ground for men who can't find anyone else. lol. 

It's all good though. He wasn't bad looking but there wasn't an overwhelming attraction to him when she showed me his picture. That's not to say he isn't wonderful in person. Oh well, maybe. We'll see but I have to give her credit. At least she thought of me. These other losers in my life are terrible. It's like no one cares if I find love or not. lolol. I have four sisters and two brothers and no one has ever said "I have a friend who's single. Want to meet him?" That's all good though.

I guess I'm just not lovable. (Fake Frowny Pouty Face) 

Let me say I love love.  I won't hold love hostage because of previous heartaches. I view them as very intense lessons that, apparently, I needed to learn. I'm educated now so yep. 

Love is beautiful. Some people will only know what they think is love but is actually the palest comparison to the authentic article. Some people are searching for themselves in places and people; trying to fill that void they have named "love" but how long will they search before they stop and realize that the source of their desire lies in understanding who they really are and what they truly want from love and someone else.  How do they want to be loved? Truly? Can they communicate that to someone so that they feel like they are being loved the way they desire to be?

We all need to communicate love, not just physically. Sex is not love. Sex is sex. It may be fun and wonderful and the best thing ever but it's not love.  What happens if you can't have sex anymore? What then? 

Okay, I veered off topic a bit. Back to the hook up. 

No. I don't want to be "hooked up" right now. lol. 

2015 was the year of breakups, avoiding a crazy dude in Italy who wanted me to have babies FOR him (tha fux???), a man with very few words who I couldn't really communicate with, a man who claimed me as their future wife causing me to but the kibosh on the whole thing real quick and finally gave it a try but walked away (like a boss) from someone I considered a dear friend since about 2009 and thought I could really love but realized I would only be wasting my time and my love. 

2016, I don't intend on dismissing the idea of love but I have to love me intensely and completely. I have major goals and I'm going to take this time to see those visions and goals to fruition. If I meet someone, okay but it's not my objective. At my age, not that I'm old, if no one has tried to hook me up with someone before now, I'm not extremely eager to be set up now. No thank you ma'am/sir. 

My advice to the rest of the world?

Fall in love! Be that jackass couple everyone rolls their eyes at saying "All that is not necessary." Kiss in public. Grab each other asses and giggle. Hold each other like you don't want to walk away from one another. Be excited about each other's dreams. Embrace one another. Not just a simple "I'm hugging you but I don't really like hugging" hug but an embrace where you hold on and maybe rock a little but you hug so completely that no air can find it's way between you two. Cuddle. Send goofy texts with inside jokes that only you two get. Love like you knew for sure that you would never see that person again. Love with urgency.  But before you love someone new, make sure you are in a position to love them. Don't hurt them trying to love everyone else as well. That's selfish and Love is not selfish. Love is many things but selfish is not one of them.

Love, loved ones!

Do you have love goals?  You should. They are great!