I accept today.

It's been a rather melancholy week. I don't think I'm sad like I was last week. I'm just here.  Although I have a lot on my mind, my thoughts are not cluttered like they were last week. If I'm blessed, tomorrow I will see my 37th years on this planet. That's pretty good. I don't mind it. It's kinda bittersweet for me but I'm going to accept the sweet. I'm not where I thought I'd be at this time last year but then again, I'm not the woman I was last year so I'm grateful for everything I've experienced (good and bad) over the last year.

I cannot say I'm the happiest I've ever been but I'm really okay. I'm more than okay. It may not necessarily show on my face but my heart is so full of gratitude and adoration for God. I see my friends moving on and building families and I think, sometimes, "Why not me?" then I remember that I'm not them. I can only be me so their paths are not designed to carry my footsteps and they can't walk my path. I have always said that I desire clarity for my purpose and what it is I'm suppose to be but I think I was looking for some sort of finite idea of who I am to be and the truth is...I will never attain a finite idea or definition of who Tru is. I am ever evolving into the next phase of this woman. The words I write and say today will be but a memory tomorrow and new words will shape new thoughts and ideas. I'm okay with that.  So, tomorrow, I may laugh. Tomorrow, I may cry. Tomorrow, I may be quiet or rant for the entire day but one thing I know for sure is if I see tomorrow, I will thank God. I will thank him for

37 years of life
37 years of love
37 years of tears
37 years of laughter
37 years of happy moments
37 years of sorrowful moments
37 years of growth
37 years of wisdom
37 years of family
37 years of friends
37 years of knowing who to keep close and which ones to let go of
37 years of breath.
37 years of thought
37 years of hope
37 years of gratitude
37 years of being...all of the above.

As much as I have had to endure over my 37 years, some of which I would never wish on any enemy in this world, I will say this... I wouldn't trade my life or the woman I have become for anything in this world.