All in due time.

Good morning. Sleep has avoided me again. RATS!!! as well as employment. I'm still lost about where my life is going but I don't doubt that I'll end up somewhere great. I was listening to (The Mighty) Mos Def's "Black on Both Sides" CD yesterday and I love Mos Def but admit that although I've had this music for a while, I never really listened to the entire thing and payed attention to the lyrics.  I think I had but not in a few years. I decided to listen to it while at the grocery store yesterday and I loved it and it reminded me why I love Mos. It was encouraging to me. I felt like some of the songs on the cd could definitely be on my soundtrack to success. For me, right now, success is transcending from this level of life to the next. Be it career, relationship, personal growth or what have you; achieving ANY goal set is considered successful in my book. I know all of this will come in due time but I do get anxious and a little frazzled when I don't know what's going to happen.

Fear is a tricky little bastard. I say that because it sneaks up on you when you don't expected and begins to take up residence in your life and after a while you are afraid to move forward and you don't really know why. That's where I am. And the WORSE thing is I KNOW it's fear and I KNOW that I shouldn't be afraid and I KNOW all I have to do is leap and not fear falling. But what happens? you get to the edge of challenge with your toes balancing to keep you on solid ground as you teeter back and forth and just as  you are about to go forward, you inhale, close your eyes and...pull yourself back to what you think is safety.  I gotta move forward and take this fear out of the equation. I love the fact that change and life is waiting for me but I hate that I feel too paralyzed to go get it. Hopefully today will be the first day towards processing the paperwork to evict this stupid fear. Let's see how it goes.

B@Peace!
~Stay TRU