Don't accept that unhappiness is inevitable.

With all that is going on in my life right now, family, relationships, personal career decisions, etc., I had a very real reality check today that has been very thought provoking. So much so that there are many decisions that must be made immediately so that I can clear my path.

Where am I going?  Right now, I'm not quite sure but the road I'm on has a sign that says "Next sign 50 miles ahead." I think I need to keep going to see what the next sign says. It's like that strange stinky smell in the refrigerator. You smell it, you don't want to smell it but you have to keep smelling it so you can find out what it is and get rid of it. I don't know if that's the right analogy but I hope you get what I'm saying. lol

A friend of mine had a heart attach and I went to see them in the hospital. First of all, a heart attach is a shock in and of itself but when the person is only 32 years old, it's definitely an eye opener.


We talked about moving forward in our lives in happiness and maintaining a minimum level of stress and worry. I have to say I was both happy and sad when I left because I do long for happiness and I know I am responsible for my own. I was also sad because the conversation was definitely a reality check for myself. Sometimes you have to say the words aloud so that the idea, the decision, or the task can become a real thing. speaking it into existence; breathing life into a certain thing may be required in order to follow the steps to happiness that lay before you. Many times we know what we need to do to get to thenext level of our lives but we pause, hesitate or stop completely when the words are spoken and the reality is placed before us. That all to familiar hesitation is the red flag letting you know that this "thing" is going to be uncomfortable or it's something you'd rather not have to do but it has to be done.

Everyone has to overcome obstacle from time to time in life but he most important thing is to approach that "thing" and tell yourself "I can move this." 

Crazy thing is some of those things in our path didn't get there by accident. We positioned them there thinking it will be easy to move when the time comes but we are finding it difficult to move or maneuver around this "thing". Well, some things take time to get over, around, under and away from but it can be done. Even if you have to cry or scream your way through the challenge, just keep going.

One of the biggest obstacles many face is the familiar fear of change. Sometimes the muddy waters get comfortable but the time to cleanse will come and you have to step out of that muck and into some fresh water. This is also true about habits that we have embraced that jeopardizes the outcome of our journey. We get one chance to walk this road. We don't move sideways or backwards; only forward.

How do you want to proceed?

Life has the potential to be very productive, loving, comforting and all the other things that are happy fun ha ha times but with the good also come trials, stress and harsh decisions about ourselves and others. Those times are as critical to your journey as the good times. Try not to avoid them but receive the growth that comes after you have come through.

Love is a very possible outcome. Happiness is a very possible outcome. Joy is a very possible outcome. No matter how hard the climate is right now, know that good can be found in harsh conditions. Keep moving forward and you'll find it.

B@Peace!
TRU

Hoping for more hope

One of the saddest things for me is speaking with someone who has given up hope. Someone who has given up hope for a positive outcome for their lives and challenging circumstances really makes me want to create a vending machine when they can go get a quick fix of hope whenever they run out. I know many people see the storm and not the rainbow after. We, human beings, can sometimes be extraordinarily impatient when it comes to overcoming trials and tribulations. It is absolutely understandable that we want to resume a sense of normalcy in our lives and get back to happier times but when "life" does happen, we want to pass the test without actually taking the test itself. 

I have a close friend who is going through difficult times right now and I not only empathize with her but I understand her because I experience many of the same issues she does but there are major issues she is experiencing that I may never understand but I am a part of her support system. What I do find sometimes (and this isn't always true for my friend) is that in our impatience, we can actually extend or increase the strength of the storm by embracing the trial as an unchangeable aspect of our lives as if there is no hope for recovery, resolution, reconciliation or redemption. In all of my challenges, even when I sat at the darkest portion of my trials, I always seemed to search for that small glimpse of light that could let me know that no matter how cloudy things look the sun has always been shining behind the clouds and at some point, the clouds have to move so I can see the light again. 


I love my friends and family, probably more than they will ever know and will always be the eternal optimist to help them retain a sense of hope and if I have to place their hope and joy in a box and save it for them until they are ready to embrace them, I totally would. One thing my friends and family would say is that I am what you would consider a "realist" or "no nonsense" when it comes to helping them move forward from a difficult situation. I do believe everyone needs the time to process what is happening in their lives but I try to help them identify when they are processing the difficulties and when they are embracing them and using it as the continuous reason to either complain, dwell, retain fear of moving forward or simply acquiring the attention so that they could stay in that difficult place. As crazy as it sounds, some people will not admit it but they find a strange comfort in dwelling in the storm.  There is no accountability in the storm. The storm is always someone else's fault and someone else has to clear the storm.  Hope for a guilt-free resolution is the only hope they have but they never receive it and so they hold onto the pain, stress, blame, emotional torture because there is a fear that if these stressful feelings go away, maybe there won't be any other emotion available to replace them so we dwell.  I know people who would say "But I do want to be happy and I don't want the sadness. Who would want to be sad?"

People who have had so much sadness in their lives may not know exactly how to be without a measure of sadness so there is always a reserve of "issues" that will allow them to pull a situation out of their back pocket like a found $5 bill.  My hope is that my friends and family actively seek happiness and joy. What I have come to understand is that hope and faith are directly connected and it's almost impossible to have hope if you don't have the faith to propel your hope into actuality.

Hebrews 11:1

King James Version (KJV)

11 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

When you have faith, you have the most effective tool necessary to jump start your hope. In order to have hope you have to have the faith that that thing you hope for is attainable. More often these days, I am hearing many people who wish for better situations but don't have the faith that their situation(s) can or will be better so their efforts to hope for better is almost non-existent. 


I have faith in God and his ability to meet a person where they are and help them through that storm. We often want God to get rid of the storm or fast forward to the end of the storm but God doesn't remove the storm. He equips you with the tools to endure until the end so the lessons can be learned; positive outcomes may be celebrated and the wisdom gained can be appreciated. We gain so much from our trials that we find ourselves appreciating the storm afterwards.  Nope. It's not comfortable, that raging storm, but when we make it through there is cause for celebration. My prayer is that my friends and family will obtain peace of mind even in the harshest part of the storm. The trick is you have to go through stress in order to know how to overcome the stress. Yep. The good ole Catch 22.

What I love (because I have to share some love here) is that peace is obtainable. Calm is obtainable. I have had many people ask me "How did you get to become so calm while everyone is stressful?" My reply?  "It took a while to get here but I identity my stress triggers and calmly figure out how to lessen my stress. It's not always easy but I'm getting better."

I don't have all the answers. In fact, I may not have any answers when it comes to helping others manage stress or their troubles because no one person handles stress the same but I want my friends and family to know that they have to keep a measure of faith and hope in reserve for those times when you don't seem to have much or any left.  Pray and seek the clearing beyond the clouds and the storm. It's not easy but I love you and I know you can find that reserve and see how that hope increases when you allow yourself to deal with the current issues but focus on the, hopefully, positive overcome.   It's not easy loved ones but life, love and happiness is so worth holding on. Please my dears, hold on until the clouds move because that sun is so bright. Just hold on. I love you enough to hold on with you.

Searching for Peace

"Love is available to you at the very moment you think it's the furthest from you."

TRU Essence

I had a conversation with a family member who is feeling lost, alone and unsure that she can make it beyond this day.  Many times our feelings are in direct conflict with our knowledge of who we really are and how much strength we really possess.   Knowing that words don't always help in a situation like that, I had to start with telling her how much I love her and that even in this moment, she is stronger than her worries; stronger than her fears; stronger than her loneliness; stronger than the situation that brought her to this place.  She is stronger than her adversary. 

We often look so far into the future based on our current situation and see a more amplified version of the present.  We often neglect what we know about the strength we have acquired to get where we are and feel like we will faint in the face of struggles.  We look at our issues and weigh the fairness of it and feel like if life is unfair in this situation, life will always be unfair to me.  The truth is sometimes life is very unfair.  Living this life isn't about fairness. Life isn't about everything going the way we want it to go or us being shown favor in every situation.  Sometimes, people will take things from you that isn't there. Sometimes someone will give you something that's not yours. Sometimes you will not receive the things you want no matter how much you want them but trust this: God sees it all and if you can say you are hurting you still have another chance for happiness and growth!

Trust when I say that I understand the valley experience.  We all have them.  They may differ in circumstances but what we feel from them still equates to a pain that, for the individual, feels unique.

It's difficult to find peace in a situation that is birthed from chaos.  People of faith don't always draw from that same faith but, even if for a moment, fall to the worry and doubt that the world has told us is unavoidable, necessary and never ending.  Our feelings are not always reliable, especially when you KNOW how strong you are.

I'm learning everyday that I'm stronger than I feel.  We all are.  You are.  Peace is available when you get to a place to shut out the loud noise of chaos and draw on your strength.  I'm not saying the issues will go away but how you react to them may.  I pray we all continue growing in peace and encourage each other to do so.  We all need to be mindful of any contribution we may have to the chaos we facilitate in the lives of people we suppose to love and even the people we claim we don't love.  If you spread chaos, that's what will come back to you.  If you share peace, even in the chaotic moments you will be able to retain some of that peace to carry you through. Live isn't easy but it doesn't have to break you. 

Be @ Peace Loved Ones!!!

Real Life Requires Real...


Stay TRU  

Peace is a powerful thing.

This weekend I had the pleasure of spending time in the mountains of West Virginia with a few great old friends and fun new friends. I had absolutely no complaints about the weekend except that I wish I had at least one more day to stay in the midst of God's grand creations and hear Him through the sounds of nature, feel Him in the breeze, water and on the ground that I tread. I took a chairlift ride up the mountain and it was so beautiful. Three of us rode up together and when two of us wasn't trying to keep the other one calm from being afraid, we sat in pockets of total silence. We spoke of God's wonder the entire time. Even the conversation among us while going up the mountain was about the pure joy of God and His magnificence.

I am so in love with God. This weekend with these people really helped me see where I need to be. He placed me among people who know Him and can see things in me that I'd long put away. In my quest to find my purpose and happiness, I have allowed situations, self discouragement and the negative aspects of life in general to take precedence over my natural drive to succeed and be productive in the way that I have been designed to be.  This weekend wasn't about having people pacify my doubts about myself or even convince me that I'm good enough to be what God has told me I need to be. This weekend was about getting the peace I needed to hear the reply to my questions and pleas to God to help me gain clarity for my next steps.

The funny thing is Shanita, one of my fun new friends talked with me and Jackie (one of my old friends) about my gifts and she said "Get outta my face. Get out of this room." lol... but her words were so encouraging. She said "You are sitting on talent that people are waiting to hear. You have written words and songs that someone out there is waiting to hear because they can't express  what they feel but you have the words." That got me because there are artist whose words, melodies, voices, all speak volumes to my heart and soul and if I could do .000001% of what other artists have done for me, I will be blessed. I really love encouraging people but forget to encourage myself. I'm like the doctor who is the worse patient. I'm getting better though.

I wanted to stay in a peaceful mode for a long time but as soon as we hit DC yesterday, BAM!!!! neck cramp! stress came back! just the thought of work made me need a massage. Stinkin' DC! lolol but I was okay later.

Peace to all my loved ones who have found their direction and to those who are still looking for theirs, we'll all get there.