I'm growing to love my imperfections in a world where we talk about being imperfect yet expect the perfected version of imperfection. Imperfection is often viewed as a shortcoming of something that is expected to be absolute and complete.
As a procrastinating perfectionist who lives with imposter syndrome, you can see how things can become complicated on the love frontier. What I believe to be true doesn't always align with what I think others think of me, or sometimes what I think of myself. I'm not necessarily an insecure person;, however everyone has their standards for what they believe to be the best thing for them and IF we are measuring meeting those standards, admittedly, many times I don't meet someone else's standards because I've never considered anyone else's standards but my own. Not that I'm selfish or anything, but I'm now more selfish than I've ever been. The good selfish. The most vulnerable thing one can do is often attached to the selfish impact that the vulnerable impact creates.
What if your vulnerability isn't the "right" level of vulnerability they are seeking, but all you can offer, at least right now?
The bitter notes of love are when you begin to love, there is a chance that it will be unrequited or rejected. I know there is a sadness that surrounds a mindset that
Maybe I'm looking for easy love, but there has never been an easy love. By easy, I mean effortless and nonintrusive, but love is one of the most intrusive things in this world. Honest love feels easy and still that's the hardest to navigate. The beauty of a thing is accompanied by the potential of the ugliest capabilities of that thing. The subjective idea of what is beautiful exists on the polarity spectrum of beauty and ugliness, meaning that for one of these identifiers to exist, the other must exist simultaneously on the polarity spectrum. All we can do is navigate between the two.
Not sure how well I'm navigating, but come what may, I seek a beautiful and easy acceptance of me. Let's see what happens.
