I have learned from past and present experiences that regardless of the effort some people make to be happy, someone around them may not share that same objective for their life. We allow people to influence us, sometimes to the point of jeopardizing that "good thing" we have in exchange for shared misery. We set up webs of deception so that our secret can remain and we can continue to dodge being exposed. Unfortunately, when we play those type of games, we are pulling unwilling participants in and our actions have an adverse affect on them that, most times, cannot be reversed.
Trust is an often discarded element in relationships. Not only is the trust of our partners, friends and families put into question but our trust in ourselves.
Do you trust yourself to make the right choices for you life?Most people would answer that question with a resounding "I don't know." That is a problem. Most times, the reason we don't know if we're making the right choices is because of several reasons. One could be we really don't know what we want so we are feeling around in the dark hoping that we will find the light switch, thus illuminating our position and hoping we are in the right place. Another reason we don't know if trust ourselves because we are afraid to move to the next level of who we are meant to be. This could result in feeling like we are leaving someone behind or a part of ourselves we don't want to let go of.
Sometimes, we must let go in order to grow. Pruning unfruitful branches is necessary for growth. This pruning process can be painful, so much so that we often want to avoid it and are willing to accept the stifled positions we stand in just so that pain won't be felt.
Are we avoiding the inevitable change?
You may be at a point in your life where you ask yourself "How did I get here?" Your vision for you life was once filled with such promise and fulfillment. Not to say you aren't blessed but you knew what you wanted and now you assess your current coordinates and wonder again, "How did I get HERE???" Well, I can't answer that for you but I will say that each choice has a direct impact on your path. Ever action has a reaction. The jobs you take, the education to receive, the friends you associate with, the romantic partners you hold onto, those people you think you can't live without, even the places you shop for groceries all have a direct impact on you forward momentum and life position. Hey, you never know who you will meet in the grocery store.
I find that the people who do trust themselves make decisions based on what is good for their lives. Not always but most of the people I know who have a plan, they go for it and they trust when something isn't right in their plan and they "fix it". However, I love the saying "If you want to make God laugh, show him YOUR plans." Unfortunately, many of us see things broken in our lives and for some reason, we choose to let that thing stay broken and wait for the inevitable. I don't believe something have to be inevitable but without action, the inevitable will happen.
Love is a wonderful thing. We all want it. We all need it. We all hope that it comes in the perfect package wrapped in you favorite candy singing your favorite song. If that is true for you, I wish you well. O_O
I have heard it said that a woman marries a man she can live with but a man marries a woman he can't live without. Pretty funny yet endearing sentiment but seems like more and more that is becoming an exception instead of the rule just like what the bible says about finding a wife.
In my formative years, I just knew I had the plan. College, great career, travel across the globe, marriage, children, and just enjoying life.
......(crickets).......
Yeah, my reality looks nothing like the vision I once had. I often justify dealing with my missteps as "growth". Have you ever said to yourself, "Well, if I hadn't gone through the struggles I wouldn't be the person I am today"? Well, that is true but you can't always justify not making certain life decisions because you decided struggling made you stronger. Some of the struggle came from turning left instead of right. I believe people either learn from experience or example. Not every struggle needs to be experienced.
Relationships are pretty much the same in regards to how we navigate them. We see the exact same patterns in our relationships that we see in someone else's life but we decide, let's see where these patterns take me. 9 times out of 10, if you take the same path as someone else, you will end up at the same destination. More and more, I am learning that I deserve to be happy. That's it. Happiness is what you determine it is for your life. For me it's navigating difficult waters with the faith that I'll return to dry land safely. I'll return to my path to accomplish what I set out to do, with minimal casualties.
Marriage. I once thought I'd own my own architecture firm by 30 years old so I have no idea if marriage is even in my future. If you ask me what I see in the future for myself, I can't answer that. I try to love for now but love is not only given, it has to be received. I can't receive love for anyone else.
Children. Again, I don't know but with each day grows the doubt that a family will happen for me. I'm learning to become content with that idea. I really wanted children because I felt like I could be a great mother but the path I take apparently has signs that say "No children allowed." Maybe I'm broken or don't trust myself enough. Maybe everything is fine and children are not in my God given plan. Whatever the cause, I'll live with it. I'm getting better at realizing that there will be no one to carry on my legacy, if I have one. I'm not sad about it anymore. Just focused on the now.
Family. We realize as we grow older that the family dynamic can shift as we become adults. The people you once trusted, admired, believed in can become foreign to you as an adult. We have to view each other differently because we have become adults who have developed individual traits that, as adults, we may or may not like so that shifts our relationships a bit.
(sigh) Well, I think that's all for now. Come back for Part II later. I want to give your eyes a break. :)
B@Peace!!!
~TRU
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