The last question came to me about 10 minutes ago and I had to log on and blog about it. I was watching a silly Will Ferrell movie and seeing his character was use to living his life based on what was allowed by his mom. As you can probably tell I was watching Step Brothers. Funny movie! Well anyway, she enabled him and he was never made to grow up until things fell apart with his mother's new marriage. Although the situations may not be the same, I just thought of some of my decisions as well as some of the choices some of my current and former friends have made based on pressure and influence from other people.
I have allowed others to influence some of my actions but ultimately these were my actions to make so I always take full responsibility but how many people actually feel like they have no other option but to succumb to the wishes of other people. Again, I must say that I, too, have made choices based on what others said I should do and family, those choices were a disaster.
In high school, a friend planted seed that I hadn't even thought of, about a guy we went to school with and the more we talked, the more I looked at this guy and was like, "yeah, I think he's pretty cool." Granted, he was a great guy and probably still is, but I was hurt behind it because he wasn't feeling me and I thought afterwards, "I am such a friggin idiot." lol. Had I just ignored her and didn't entertain her suggestions, WHO KNOWS where I would be now or who I would be with. Maybe I wouldn't be any different but one thing is sure, nothing is certain.
Later, after YEARS of being "good" and very happy, by the way, I had an idiot friend tell me that I needed to let some of my standards go because I just needed to BE WITH SOMEBODY. ANYBODY. uh...I went out with this guy I didn't really want to because he was just anybody and family, again, REGRETS! I was an adult by then so it's not just teenagers who go through peer pressure. Don't be mistaken.
Now my real question is how many of you will allow a person to alter your destiny or just influence you to turn away from your desired choices or maybe it's a person you're turning away from because you feel you have no choice? Who, among you, has felt your heart break because you felt you had to make a choice to appease someone else who just doesn't want to see you happier than they are? Think about it. If you are miserable in your situation and are in the midst of other miserable people, ask yourself this question, "Why am I afraid to be happy?"
In my experiences, I have seen people make choices for their own life because they would appear to be too happy to their friends and family. Well, to that I say, "ARE YOU EFFIN' CRAZY???" LOL! Let me share a tidbit about myself with you to show you how I deal with the pressure of other people wanting me to make my decisions based on their level of happiness. First, I do care about other people's happiness but I care about my happiness first. The two people I respect more on this earth than anyone are my parents. They had me. They raised me. They taught me. They helped to mold my character and I still will not make a decision solely on making them happy if it made me miserable. I make a point to tell them what I think and what I will decide about certain things so that they know that although I will take their guidance into consideration, ultimately I have to choose for myself and I do just that. If they don't like someone I like, I pay attention to their feelings but if I am not going to be with that person it has to be because I agreed with my parents and saw the same things they saw and not just because they said so. Operating like this does lead to learning lessons the hard way sometimes but most of the time parents are not influencing you negatively but letting you know how they feel and that I can respect. What kinda of woman would I be if I cut and run every time someone said
"No. You shouldn't do that.
You shouldn't buy that.
You shouldn't try that.
You shouldn't go there.
You shouldn't love him."
All I can do is hope that my fam (that would be you) really takes stock in what it is that truly makes you happy and hold on to it. If it's the right thing, time will tell, but if you just don't try, how will you ever know. That leads me to this:
If you love someone with your whole heart and there are negative people in your life who don't want to see you happy, please be strong enough to tell them that you will live your life in happiness and love. Let them stew in their misery alone. You don't have to dwell with them there. Let's open up our lives to good things, people, experiences, and decisions that will enhance our lives. I love you fam!!!!
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