The Bitter and Sweet Notes of Love Experience

In this writing, I'll use the words "we," "us," and "you" as universal identifiers. Take nothing personal because chances are...Iown know you. 😝

I'm growing to love my imperfections more each day because I'm growing to love myself more, and my imperfections are a part of my makeup. We live in a contradictory world where many talk about being imperfect yet expect a perfected version of others. Imperfections are viewed as shortcomings of things that are expected to be absolute, perfect, and/or complete. 

As a procrastinating perfectionist who lives with imposter syndrome, you can see how things can become complicated on the love frontier. What I believe to be true doesn't always align with what I think others think of me, or sometimes what I think of myself. I'm not necessarily an insecure person; however, everyone has their own standards for what they believe is best for them. If we are measuring meeting those standards, admittedly, many times I don't meet someone else's standards because I've never considered anyone else's standards but my own. Honestly, I'm okay with that. Not that I don't think of others, but I'm now more selfish than I've ever been. The good selfish. The necessary selfishness. The most vulnerable thing one can do is often attached to the selfish act that the need for vulnerability creates.

What if your vulnerability isn't the "right" level of vulnerability they are seeking, but all you can offer, at least right now? 

The bitter notes of love begin when love begins; there is a chance that it will be unrequited or rejected, so the panic of heartache is a real thing that many deal with but is often discounted by others, unless it's their heart on the line. I know there is a sadness that surrounds limited expectations of what "love" should look like. Often comes from a very personal space that is influenced by one's expectations, experiences, and self-worth.  

Maybe I'm looking for easy love, but there has never been an easy love. Simple love, maybe. By easy, I mean effortless and nonintrusive, but love is one of the most intrusive things in this world. Honest love feels easy, and still, that's the hardest to navigate. The beauty of a thing is accompanied by the potential of the ugliest capabilities of that thing. The subjective idea of what is beautiful exists on the polarity spectrum of beauty and ugliness, meaning that for one of these identifiers to exist, the other must exist simultaneously on the polarities spectrum. All we can do is navigate between the two. Not sure how well I'm navigating, but come what may, I seek a beautiful and easy acceptance of me. Anyone who feels forced to want to be with or love me, yeah, I don't need it. Let's see what happens. 

The more mature I grow, the less I cling to any one idea of what love should look like. I have had moments of love-sick feeling or the desperation of love. You don't have to be considered a desperate person, per se, to love desperately.  I'm open to what the universe gives, though I'm not easily impressed or convinced by what others say. I trust the universe, not people. I know what I don't want and I have made that known to the universe as well, while realizing that sometimes I don't desire the things I need. My needs override my wants. Don't accept just any ole version of love as dictated by someone who has their own motives to manipulate love. Clarity and wide eyes are the best ways to assess what is true for you when it comes to relationships (whatever those relationships may be). 

***Disclaimer: Truth is objective, and what is, a fact-based experience. "Your truth" is what you believe or are convinced to be true in your situation. Know the difference. 

Be wary of those who boost their value with words instead of action. Let your motto be "Show and Prove" in this season of love. "Eyes wide open," love seems contradictory to the whole "blinded by love" scenarios most experience. Sometimes you don't know what you don't want until it shows up and you think, "Nah. That ain't it." Guess what. That's okay, too. don't feel pressured to accept less because that's what's offered. Puh! Keep pushing, loves. Live life and be open to love showing up authentically just for you in a way you will identify and accept it. 

Love always,

Coach TRU💋

I

 

I’ve wiped away the tears and no one was there to see

My heart aches so openly

What will you do?

Will you just stand aside and feel

Or will stand tall against the hate that hurt so many of us all

We are not alone

By TRU Ess, (c) 2025

CUHRAAAAAZYYYYYY

As we race toward another week, the 9th week of 2025 to be exact, the daunting task we must face is how to navigate a new global landscape of being in a country that is rapidly losing favor in the world. Granted, the inner turmoil of this country is definitely on display and after all, would you want to be friends with a bully drama queen/king??? It's fucking exhausting. 

 I've spent the last year recovering from my last 8 years in DC. Georgia nature, front porch star gazing, music, aromatic tobacco smoke of hand rolled cigars, laughter where there were once constant tears have given me a reset that was necessary. Do I have the answer to the question  "What's next?" Nope. I actually took a year off from working and now that I'm ready to jump back in, the US is in shambles. It's a fucking mess. 

But let's talk about something a little different because I can't say how much one conversation about the state of this janky jackleg government can send my blood pressure soaring. Let's talk about animals. Not just any animals, a pitbull.  Not just any pitbull. This pitbull. 

She almost looks like a sweetly sleeping pup. 

DON'T FALL FOR IT! SHE IS DECEPTIVE!!!

 This is Buttercup (aka "B-Cup", aka "Cuppy Cup"). She is one of my roommates.  The one that pays not nary a bill. 

She looks younger than she is but getting to know her this last year has been interesting, funny, infuriating,  all the emotions. Smh 

And now, "Story Time with TRU & Cuppy Cup".

I won't tell the year-long story but I will tell the story of the shady ass pup that got me the other day. This lil girl was on my sister's bed after she left for work. She knows she's not supposed to be. I told her to get down and she jumped down and began limping. Since I never believe her other deceitful acts, I was like "Cuppy, get down and go in the living room." She starts walking with a limp. I've never seen her limp. So me, being hoodwinked, gave her a treat where she lay because I didn't want her to move farther. Later she moved to her bed and stayed there until dinner time in the evening. As time goes on, I know she needs to go outside to use the outdoor doggie facility  (aka the lawn for her peeing and pooping). I decide, out of the goodness of my stupid heart, to put her coat on and carry her outside, down the stairs, and to the lawn so she wouldn't hurt herself. THIS MOFO STARTED WALKING NORMALLY WITHOUT ISSUE! Lil jerk. 

I walked her around the yard and she started rolling around and trotting. I wish you could have seen my face. 😐😠. I then put her on the wire leash outside and this so-and-so took off running from one side of the yard to the other. I yelled "FAKER!!!" and went in the house. Today she was leaping up the stairs outside and zooming around the yard. She's worse than people. Lol THE MALARKEY!!!