WHY DO WE, HOW DO WE, WHY WON'T WE TRULY LOVE?

How does one measure love? We all have different standards by which we quantify love. How effective are our measures and are the findings true or are they fabricated to convince us that our efforts to create or find perfected love is not in vain.

Turns out that I simply don't care anymore.


Well, maybe I shouldn't say anymore but for now.

The lesson learned about love is sometimes that we feel certain ways about it but allow how we feel to override what you know and that can be dangerous.  Sometimes we want to override knowledge to satisfy our momentary thirsts, desires, bitterness, detachment or whatever you battle with. For now, I'm laying down my battle gear and crawling under the covers and letting the rest of the world figure out what love is, isn't, should be or shouldn't be. It's strange to know that one day you can feel so much about how wonderful love is and could be and the next day a hardening has happened to the places that were once soft and pliable; always ready to accept and embrace whatever love meant to you.

I don't think it's a broken heart more than a revelation of how humans operate under the guise and the knowledge of how love works or how other people love that has halted my desire to love and be loved. I don't think that desire ever really goes away no matter how you try to convince yourself that you are protecting your heart. My personal issue is (and I don't mind sharing it with you) I just don't believe people anymore. The bad part is you could actually be telling me the truth and I just won't believe you. I'm not bitter about it. I just don't care to plead a case why I do or don't believe anyone. Show me and you will convince me. Tell me and I'm still not sold.

Some people manufacture love based on what they need to get from the other person. The word "LOVE", in my opinion, is vastly overused and misused. I don't mean to sound bitter or anything because I'm really not. I'm actually happy for the most part. My woes are more about my purpose and place in this world, not with a man so I'm good.

I'm all for talking it out and expressing feeling but when you have done that so many times and is basically transparent and things still blow up in your face you kinda want to just go lie down. lol.
Let the rest of the world deal with the issues.

You can't escape your issues but for now, you can just take a breather and rest.

Love will be there, somewhere, when you're ready but I'm going to crawl under my covers and rest.