BIPOLAR LOVE PERSPECTIVE

Life's Love Lesson #907389

Bipolar Love Perspective

So I confess that I'm rather bipolar when it comes to love. I love and hate the idea of it. The confession of wanting love and needing love often is overshadowed by the feelings of resentment of having opening loved in the past. I want to shut love off but keep the tap open in case I should find myself in a position to embrace someone who truly loves me. SMH.

I don't want to dismiss the possibilities of encountering that unexpected love source while at the same time not looking and trying to avoid love like the plague. It's pretty terrible though I'm pretty happy at the same time. Even though you may long for a love you also can celebrate the lack of drama and worry that comes with relationship/love anxiety. For now, I have no worries about if someone loves me enough. I'm working on loving myself. It's pretty awesome.

Currently, the time I would normally take thinking of, talking about, or enacting my own perception of the perfect love, I am working on business opportunities that I had to force myself to accept because of the doubt I had about myself. Now, my confidence is greater because I realize how talented I really am. Still apprehensive sometimes but I am actively building up my confidence, my knowledge and my brand. I have a new group of clients that will be depending on me heavily in the coming months and I'm excited.

I'm excited because I get to be creative in my own projects but with my new clients, I get to put on my management hat again. Setting up my business, my clients' business will bring more clients in the next year. I have such a vast set of skills I'm trying to cultivate and though it may seem selfish, right now is he perfect time for me to dive into myself to work, enjoy life and be my own best friend. Could I do all of this while maintaining a relationship? Of course but for now I need tunnel vision. Relationships involve other people and that can yield unpredictable drama that I just don't have time for. As I grow older, I'm more forward with my thoughts and perspectives. This will lead me to being more confrontation than I have been in the past so for now, I need to be focused on business. It's pretty great.

The few interests I've had this year have been great but since I'm not chasing anyone (which is a huge mistake for us (women) many times in the first place) I have been able to focus on myself and my goals. I told my friend the other day that I don't trust people so it's easier for me, now , to let go of people. I know. I know. I'm not bitter. I just simply don't believed the words that come out of people's mouths so I don't hold on to many things that could potentially hurt my feelings later. lol. Crazy, right? For now, that's how I rationalize things.

Wait. What was I talking about again?

Oh, Bipolar Perspective on Love.

Anyway, Love is alright, if you truly have it. If you do, don't fuck it up. If you don't, hold on. It'll come but in the meantime, LIVE LIFE FULLY!

As for me, I'm still seeking that supernatural love.

Loving this group here. King. Awesome! I want to be like Paris. She's the producer and musician. #CAREERGOALS