Some days, all you can say is "Yuuuuuup."
So many changes happened for me in 2024, and 2025 is shaping up to be just as, how should I say it? Reflective? Introspective? Life-changing? Oh, yeah. Fuckified. lol
When you get lost in a system, societal mindset, personal fear, and challenges, it's difficult to navigate the polarities you have always viewed as problems. What some people don't understand is that a problem is something you can solve, and that's that; usually led by either/or thinking. Polarities are interdependent and seemingly contradictory factors that cannot exist without the other and both are, at some point, useful; usually led by both/and thinking. The current polarity I am navigating is the Fear : Courage polarity. Fear and faith are also considered a related polarity.
Some other examples of polarities we navigate daily are:
Action : Reflection
Stability : Change
Challenge : Support
Candor : Diplomacy
Those are just a few polarities to mention.
This is my season for navigating fear and courage. Many people tell me how strong I am. Fear does not diminish strength. Fear is more than not having the "strength" to do something. If you overcome the fear and complete the challenging task, does that mean you gained the strength to complete the task or does it mean the strength was always there and you've learned how to tap into it confidently...enough?
Have you ever heard the phrase "Do it afraid"? Whatever the "it" is that you must do, if you do it afraid then your strength was there all along. Your confidence wasn't. Fear will diminish your confidence and outlook on your ability to stand in that difficult place and do that damn thing. Navigating from the fear polarity pole to the courage polarity pole is the only way to pull away from fear. Make no mistake, we need a certain level of fear. Fear is designed to protect us, though over eons it has become more prevalent in situations that inherently should not be fearful. This is why I say my challenge now is navigating fear and courage. I possess both. The challenge is in how I navigate them.
Consider this:
Regardless of the polarities, everyone has a preferred pole. It's the polarity you feel most comfortable in and the pole whose benefits you gravitate to. Each polarity pole has benefits and overuses. The overuses can be viewed as "too much of a good thing". Neither pole is good or bad. Both polarity poles are required for the other to exist. Each day, we navigate the spectrum between the two polarities. Sometimes you get stuck at one end of the spectrum. That may feel like it's solving the problem of overusing the opposite pole but as you lean more to the opposite end of the spectrum, you tend to start overusing that as well, so what do we think is the solution? Moving back towards the other pole. Even that "solutions" will find you back in the same cycle of movement if you're not careful.
That roller coaster can seem never-ending. As I've learned in my coaching training and workshop facilitating the subject of polarities, we must view polarities as preferred perspectives. We don't gain the clarity we need until we've found that third perspective that brings the full picture together. The main objective to navigating these polarities is to find ways to have the best of both poles at any given time with minimal chances of overusing either pole, create multiple strategies options that will keep you moving along the spectrum so you experience many more benefits than overuses of either polarity pole.
*By the way, there is a whole book called Navigating Polarities by Brian Emerson (Founder of Andiron) and Kelly Lewis: two of my favorite former colleagues and good friends.*
Okay, back to me.
Fucking fear! I hate it, but the fear issue is that you can become comfortable in something that isn't good for you. You think it's keeping you safe from disappointment, rejection, failure, etc., and fear is also stopping growth, gaining new experiences, finding fulfillment, etc. Writing this blog has actually enlightened me on what I need to break this "stuckness" I've felt. I often define myself as a "realist", but I have to acknowledge that the opposite polarity to realism is optimism. Now I see that, as real as I have been, I have pushed aside the optimism because I don't like what happens when you overuse optimism. Too much optimism can bring disappointment, rejection, and loss of confidence. The crazy thing is I know this and still I succumb to the polarities overuses and feel like I'm running back and forth on a long stretch of road with no off ramps, no intersections, or no pathways away from the road.
Now that I have, in real time, identified my polarity challenges, I can navigate it to build strategies to get unstuck and move through the challenges; in essence, taking what I need from both sides when I need them and not feeling like I can't move beyond the moment. Do I still have a lot of work to do? Yuuuuuuup. Can I move beyond the "stuckness" to find the flow of strategies that will help me discover the third perspective of my situation? Yuuuuuup. Despite all fear, any doubt, or apprehension, will I be okay? Yuuuuuuuuuuuup!
Be well.
Coach TRU💋
