Enduring Your Weeping Hours

One of the loneliest and heaviest feelings I have ever experienced, by far, has been the overwhelming outpouring of tears through swollen eyelids, hurting head, heavy heart and hopeless emotions. Tonight, I don't have a heavy heart and I am not crying but I'm reflecting on past moments I have been terribly broken and I think of others who, in a single moment, can't handle pressure and break down. It could be a traumatic occurrence or something that is eating away at you in your daily life that causes such an emotional reaction. I was once asked "How do you prevent yourself from getting depressed?"  My reply, "I can't. I can, however, pray and begin to identify the triggers for depression when I'm not in a depressed state.  For me, it's more about the reaction to a sadness that can either send you spiraling into a depression or allow you to push through it, all the while acknowledging how you feel." There are no two people that handle depression the same but you can find a way to not be swallowed up by it. 

The last few days, I have been overcome with an need to improve, not just my way of life but my way of thinking about myself.  I'm not self-loathing or anything but many times I have felt like I'd been dealt a horrible hand in life and not just physically but emotionally.

I look at my face, my body, my hair and other things that I wish were so much different and I feel like the world is looking at me and hoping I'd go away.  It's hard when there is a standard of beauty or success that depends on how others view you.  The bad part is we take how we think others see us and infuse that into our thoughts about ourselves.  When you spend so much time feeling awkward about yourself, any and every other issue that comes your way is amplified because your emotions and self image are already delicate. 

Personally, I have learned that this version of Tru is what I have.  I can't make myself anyone else and I don't want to.  I have spent so much time wondering if I'm lovable that I forgot to answer my own question by loving myself. The people in the world who seek others because they feel I'm not good enough to love, accept or I don't fit into the kind of friend, partner, employee that they want have the right to seek another but it's how you handle the rejection that sends you into the depth of depression, if you allow it.  This weekend I have been watching many health documentaries and there was a doctor in one of the documentaries who said she tells her patients to look in the mirror every day and say this following affirmation: 

                        "I accept myself unconditionally, right now."

 I love this because when you start to appreciate you and the path you are one, you can start to reorganize your thoughts and emotion which ultimately leads to you revamping how you think of your journey forward and those that may or may not accompany you on your journey.  Some of us may walk the road alone but always accept yourself unconditionally as you are at this moment. That doesn't mean you don't want change and you will never get sad again but these little tips may just help you endure those weeping hours; one affirmation at a time.

You are strong.  You are beautiful. You are exactly who you are suppose to be right now and for everyone who turns away from you, there is someone coming towards you. Don't be afraid to accept yourself.