I haven't blogged in a while or not as frequently as I like to but I felt compelled to express myself today. I speak of love and have shared my stories (not full disclosure but enough) of heartbreak and heartache and through all of that I have tried to be honest with myself about my roll in my heartbreak. When your heart gets broken, whether from a break up, inability to reach the one you love or timing, you try to see where you went wrong. Not that you really did anything wrong in particular but I guess you try to see where you should have noticed a change or picked up on the other persons language (verbal and body) or just trusted your instincts that something is wrong.
I have spent much time, during all my heartbreaks, trying to crack the code for when to know a relationship (be it friendship or romantic) is winding down to it's final moments. Not many people can feel it coming. I always do. This is not to say I'm breaking up with someone every other week but I have had important relationships end and I was broken. I still hold love for these people but I know you have to love people from a far sometimes and as hurt and mad as I may have been, ya know, with each day...it does get better. Once you may think you'll never laugh again and guess what...one day you can't stop laughing. Once you may think that person was the only one for you then you look up one day and you're raising an eyebrow at an attractive person and after a while...looky here, you're loving someone new. I guess for me the challenge I discuss with my friends is what lessons are learned from these experiences. 
In the middle of heartbreak, the most rational person sounds crazy to you and the craziest ideas and thoughts seem to make sense. Love can truly knock you down. For those who have created a life of habit in breaking other's hearts, I beseech you, please find what you want before it's too late. Have some compassion for the feelings of those who love you. Don't just hurt because you feel you can get away with it. Search inside and find that thing or person that causes you to truly love and respect the same in others. One mistake many of us make is allowing a person to cause us to distort our own vision of love and relationships. Don't allow other's inconsideration to be what determines your happiness in the future. Mourn the loss but afterwards, celebrate new beginnings.
I have been through it (heartbreak) enough to know that I can get through it and I tell others, you will get to the other side. We all will if we trust that God will guide us there.
As much as I know heartache, one of the worse feelings is to feel that you may be a part of someone else's heartache. Each night I pray that God give me clarity in my steps even when the world doesn't understand why I make the decisions I make, if i feel God has not left my side then I trust he will catch me if I fall and correct me when I'm wrong. Honestly, I don't know too many people who really think about what they do. They find someone to blame or place fault with others but the truth starts with how honest we all are with ourselves. I am not surprised by people anymore but when I start becoming surprised at myself, it's time to re-evaluate my path. To all my friends and those who read this that I may not know, I pray for comfort for your heart. I pray for healing for your soul. I pray for sunshine after your rain. I pray for the next time you smile again. this song has touched me and I hope it touch you also. May God be with you all.
"I Smile" - Kirk Franklin
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