CUHRAAAAAZYYYYYY

As we race toward another week, the 9th week of 2025 to be exact, the daunting task we must face is how to navigate a new global landscape of being in a country that is rapidly losing favor in the world. Granted, the inner turmoil of this country is definitely on display and after all, would you want to be friends with a bully drama queen/king??? It's fucking exhausting. 

 I've spent the last year recovering from my last 8 years in DC. Georgia nature, front porch star gazing, music, aromatic tobacco smoke of hand rolled cigars, laughter where there were once constant tears have given me a reset that was necessary. Do I have the answer to the question  "What's next?" Nope. I actually took a year off from working and now that I'm ready to jump back in, the US is in shambles. It's a fucking mess. 

But let's talk about something a little different because I can't say how much one conversation about the state of this janky jackleg government can send my blood pressure soaring. Let's talk about animals. Not just any animals, a pitbull.  Not just any pitbull. This pitbull. 

She almost looks like a sweetly sleeping pup. 

DON'T FALL FOR IT! SHE IS DECEPTIVE!!!

 This is Buttercup (aka "B-Cup", aka "Cuppy Cup"). She is one of my roommates.  The one that pays not nary a bill. 

She looks younger than she is but getting to know her this last year has been interesting, funny, infuriating,  all the emotions. Smh 

And now, "Story Time with TRU & Cuppy Cup".

I won't tell the year-long story but I will tell the story of the shady ass pup that got me the other day. This lil girl was on my sister's bed after she left for work. She knows she's not supposed to be. I told her to get down and she jumped down and began limping. Since I never believe her other deceitful acts, I was like "Cuppy, get down and go in the living room." She starts walking with a limp. I've never seen her limp. So me, being hoodwinked, gave her a treat where she lay because I didn't want her to move farther. Later she moved to her bed and stayed there until dinner time in the evening. As time goes on, I know she needs to go outside to use the outdoor doggie facility  (aka the lawn for her peeing and pooping). I decide, out of the goodness of my stupid heart, to put her coat on and carry her outside, down the stairs, and to the lawn so she wouldn't hurt herself. THIS MOFO STARTED WALKING NORMALLY WITHOUT ISSUE! Lil jerk. 

I walked her around the yard and she started rolling around and trotting. I wish you could have seen my face. 😐😠. I then put her on the wire leash outside and this so-and-so took off running from one side of the yard to the other. I yelled "FAKER!!!" and went in the house. Today she was leaping up the stairs outside and zooming around the yard. She's worse than people. Lol THE MALARKEY!!!

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World.

What if...

I just watched the last (maybe) 7 minutes of the movie "Seeking a Friend for the End of the World" with Steve Carell and Keira Knightley and I think I have seen the movie before in its entirety and knew the sweet heartbreaking end was coming. In the end, as they lie in bed talking, trying to distract themselves from the eminent ending quickly approaching, Keira's character  Penny says "I'm scared" and "I wish we had more time". She is frightened but you can see she's trying not to panic. Steve's character, Dodge, is calm and asks her where did she grow up. The peace he has found with the knowledge of knowing it's the end allows for the Penny to come to the same understanding that she, too, appreciates sharing this last moment with the love of her life. Her smile as the meteor arrives, (oh, if you haven't seen the movie, SPOILER! A meteor hits the earth.) Leaves viewers with the final view of Dodge's life; the peaceful smile of the woman he loves. 

That into leads me to ask this question: with all the stress in this country right now, what if tomorrow held the moments of the last view if your life? What or who would you want staring back at you as the brightest light you've ever experienced envelopes your very being, ... 

Just got a tornado warning. Gonna go now. Later...🤞🏾

This reality.

This is such a wicked world. Finding joy feels fruitless. 

Imagine If

Imagine if

You look at her and see your choice in forever

You see every weight added to life with the courtesy of holding close an affection that is your through way to a destiny coloured with deep shades of transparent blues and yellows

Her eyes are all you can see and they read a real story of love

She braced to become the woman you asked for on knees to a god you said you believed in

Your request was fulfilled 

Holding her hand to your chest to feel the heart you pledged to her in the darkest moments of the nights when she revealed every part of herself to you

The nights you said you will always be the man she deserves and desires 

Calming hands feel spaces on…in her that springs forth the entities guarding her soul and lead you down a pathway only you can walk.

The desire is there

Love grows and fills cups that spill over into reality; painting the most delicate of pictures as a watercolor on mulberry paper

Striking curves reminding you why you long for her

You return to get a glimpse, hear her soft breathing as you rub her curves and kiss the nape of her neck

But you have to pull away and fear you may never find this feeling again

So now, as the dawn shows itself,  this will only be a memory

She will have to be a memory

But imagine…if you held all of what you feel for her...

And gave it to your wife

(C) 2024, TRU ESSENCE 

A Song to Die To

 

A song to die to

Everything in my existence has led me to this very moment. 

Every experience; 

every moment; 

every choice; 

every pain; 

every breath.

I’m here and not sure how I traveled from the place where my feet first planted on the earth 

to the place as they escape the pain of the unknown

With nothing but the perfect melody to guide the way

 just some poetically inspired moments: Back to it. 

Distinctly Knowing

Written by TRU Essence 

He looked at me differently

He listened to my words and heard my laughter
And he looked at me differently
His words slowed and he nodded at a point I didn’t realize I’d made
He held my hand but never looked at it
To see the lines that ran across the palm that held onto life like a child to its pacifier
He never saw my lines
He just held the very definition of me in his hands and never once looked

But today, he looked at me differently
The lights were not low
The music was not playing
Sensations traveling throughout the body and mind
Distracting us both from who was right in front of, behind, beneath or on top
Pleasure felt just because it was another body, not because it was us
Fully understanding and not expecting that he would take stock in the moment
We moved as ghosts in a new town
Not familiar but traveling through to find a good thing
To haunt for the rest of our days
But it was never intended for us to travel through eternity
Just a moment in this time

He never noticed my smile lines when he arrived at my door
I didn’t think he noticed my smile at all
Almost ashamed to see me as I am,
maybe he’s looking through me to see the end of his reason for coming
the noise of the background thoughts requires my attention to keep me safe from acknowledging that he doesn’t see me
I don’t know how my name sounds rolling off his tongue

I’m not even sure anymore if I am truly his destination or if I’m a pre-determined destination that he forgot to remove from his gps
I opened my world and he willingly walked in
We both understood, is what he says
And we both understood
“It is what it is” often turns to “I didn’t know what it could become” and
“if I had only known”
But we know, we knew and now we move on

I feel the bond that he doesn’t and know it’s of my own conditioning
To find anyone that will allow my love to abide inside
His heart was full of the many who sit and wonder if he even saw their smile lines
The closest I can get to his heart is a random text simply saying “Hey you.”
Years go by and numbers forgotten, faces lost in the crowd and my loneliness sustains itself
But “Hey you” arrives and I still find myself smiling; though I hate that I do

He doesn’t know me
He only knew me
He doesn’t want me
He just wanted me
It was convenient to want me without the wanting
I found myself wanting what I couldn’t have
While he had what he didn’t want
Match made in dysfunctional social heaven
We’re all citizens
We will haunt each other for the rest of our days

Because we know that somewhere in the world is an empty soul
That matches our own
Even if we cannot confess it to ourselves








(c) 2023 Tara L. Aldridge, Weeping Fountain Books