For years, I have often spoken about how many people claim to be different from others and somehow, more unique than most, but I have yet to find an abundance of distinctions among the same people who claim an extraordinary level of uniqueness. Truth is, everyone is unique when you consider our unique DNA "stuffs"; however, differences usually show up in how we navigate the society we subscribe to, and even then, so many people share similar experiences, with similar reactions, and similar mindsets. No, no one person experiences life exactly the same, but there are variations of similar experiences that we react to according to our beliefs, rationale, emotions, and level of understanding and knowledge.
I used to think I was absolutely the only version of me (which is still true) until I saw someone who had my face and others who felt the things I felt about almost everything. It's sobering and also relieving because it highlights the fact that we truly are not alone in the world. I have never claimed to be different, but what I do, how I think, and how I appreciate the world around me (sometimes) have made others view me differently. For me, that's good enough.
I realized early in life that all the people parading around talking about how different they were, weren't. We (universal "we") like to paint ourselves in the best light so others can do the same, but the truth is, I have long since stopped believing what people say and only slightly believe what they do. Behavior is the differentiator. When a person says "I'm different," but I see the same tired behaviors that I've seen time and time again, I'm not upset, nor am I shocked that they are human. Period.
Lots of people try to appear as close to perfection as possible, even in our flawed existence. Some people say how "perfectly flawed" they are. See how they can't be simply flawed? They have to be perfectly flawed. During the last decade or so, we (universal "we") have become "experts" in healing, growth, emotional intelligence, communication, and relationship criteria. Well, I trust those who study in these fields and even consider the perspectives of those who are not professionally focused in these areas but have done the work on themselves and help others in an authentic, non-judgmental way. Not everyone does that, so it isn't wise to just blindly believe someone who says they have the "secret" to healing and what it is supposed to look like. Most of the time, that "expertise" is conditionally based on their subjective perspective of their own experiences or what they think they know about someone else's experiences.
With all this "expertise" floating around, it just sounds like a room of parakeets. Now, granted, this is not all bad. To me, this seems like people are grasping the idea of the work it takes for self-care and "healing" from past and sometimes present wounds. However, the idea of unique perspectives is a stretch when so many people are parroting each other's words, almost verbatim. Nothing is wrong with that. I simply throw up an eyebrow when people say they are different. When I ask "how so?", either they regurgitate things others have said or they express what they think "good" different is, and most of the time, again, I've heard that "difference" before.
I won't drag this on much longer, but I'll leave with this:
The "difference" doesn't show up in the saying but in the doing.
If I don't have a point of reference for someone, I simply trust what I see and what they show me.
Show me you're not the same as everyone else by not doing the all same things as everyone else.
Stay TRU
