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SMILE! Someone may be watching.
~Tru Essence
Okay, so I don't know. I'm sure people have said this before but until I see who has said it, I'm saying it. (^~^)
I had a friend send me a Facebook inbox message the other day that not only surprised me but it made my entire day. What made it even better is even though we haven't really connected in any other meaningful way other than status updates and "likes" and comments, our conversation was one of real love and sisterhood that went beyond just a simple "Hello". Some times we aren't sure if we make an impact in anyone's life and some people who intentionally try to be the "everything" so that they can say what they have done for people, will never know how it truly feels to have your words effortlessly impact someone in a way that has them in tears, which in turn, has you in tears because you have such a love for life and someone else "gets it".
I won't get into the meat of the conversation on this post but I will write a little more about it in a later post. Our conversation did get me to thinking about how we outwardly display love so that people can see and feel secure in knowing your intentions as a friend, family or just as another person wanting to be happy on this planet. There is so much to be miserable about in our society because it seems each day, the tragedies increase and they are moving fast and furiously. There is, however, so much to celebrate and be grateful for. I have chosen (because, yes, you have to choose) to be happy. PERIOD.
With all the tests, struggles, disappointments, hurts, confusion and chaos that has tailed me each step of my journey in life, I have decided, through no real defining superpower of my own, that I want to be happy. PERIOD. Well, let me clarify. I want real pure unadulterated joy! Having joy doesn't mean I will never be unhappy. It means that despite a momentary feeling of sadness, I can call on the internal and eternal joy that will remind me of how wonderful it is to be happy. The biggest part of my newest lesson in love and life is that 100 people can surround you and be miserable but I can still have joy. I can not, and will not, allow others who are miserable in their lives to determine my emotional fate.
I hear people complain about everything on a regular basis and in the past, I would have taken on the same contrite spirit of misery and self dismay. I'm not sure I can adequately express how wonderful it has been to be active and present in determining my own happiness. My confession is that before, even when I was "Happy", there was a real effort being made in the background for me not to fall into a depression and each day I felt fine, even great, it felt like it was message coming through on a background frequency, as a low murmur, that was always saying "Stay up. Stay up. You could fall any minute. Stay up."
That's the unseen battle with depression some people don't understand but the more I focus on mindfulness and living in and for the present, the less I hear any background noise of doubt and sadness. No. 'Life for me ain't been no crystal stairs' and it still isn't but struggles I dealt with, just months ago, have not been so paralyzing as they would have been before. I'm so happy I can take moments and evaluate where I am and how I feel about the very moment and walk away knowing, good or bad, the moment is what it is and it will pass in just a moment.
It may sound corny but when I evaluate my moments, I ask myself the following questions:
- How am I feeling right at this moment?
- What or who contributed to me feeling this way?
- Why do I feel this way?
- Is it possible that I am overreacting or over thinking the situation or someone's remarks or actions?
- Can I change the situation or the person involved?
- Is this something that will cause me to have long term stress?
- How can I let go of it?
- Will it kill me to let it go and move on right now?
- Should I have ice cream for dinner???
See? It's a process. lol
The thing is, THIS has helped me to be transparent with myself and others. If I'm upset, I say "I'm upset." If I want to laugh, I burst into laughter. If I want to cry, the tears fall and if I want ice cream for dinner, I remember what my trainer said and get a salad.
Hey, can't have my way all the time.
To wrap up, I'm learning how much I love getting to know myself. Paying attention to my body signals in certain situations has helped me pinpoint and target what may cause me to feel certain feelings and think certain thoughts in specific situations. I have learned that I don't like complaining and being around people who do. We can have our moments to vent but vent and let it be done.
I have learned that I would rather be alone than in a bad situation with someone or others who really don't have my best interest at heart. That's not to say you don't miss the friendships, laughter, love and affection. It means that you can love life and be happy engaging life one on one and after a while, others who feel the same will follow suit. I don't know if I motivate anyone to do anything because I'm still working to motivate myself but if I can motivate people to live life completely, like a child who has never been told "No" and be happy, I hope to do that. I leave you with this: never let the people around you keep you from being happy. Be happy despite what they will say or do. People will draw you into their daily suffering and misery if you let them. Don't let them.
I can't change yesterday. I have no clue what tomorrow brings. Tomorrow will take care of itself.
For today, I live...HAPPILY!!!
B@PEACE.
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