just some poetically inspired moments: Back to it.
Distinctly Knowing
Written by TRU Essence
He looked at me differently
He listened to my words and heard my laughter
And he looked at me differently
His words slowed and he nodded at a point I didn’t realize I’d
made
He held my hand but never looked at it
To see the lines that ran across the palm that held onto
life like a child to its pacifier
He never saw my lines
He just held the very definition of me in his hands and
never once looked
But today, he looked at me differently
The lights were not low
The music was not playing
Sensations traveling throughout the body and mind
Distracting us both from who was right in front of, behind,
beneath or on top
Pleasure felt just because it was another body, not because
it was us
Fully understanding and not expecting that he would take stock
in the moment
We moved as ghosts in a new town
Not familiar but traveling through to find a good thing
To haunt for the rest of our days
But it was never intended for us to travel through eternity
Just a moment in this time
He never noticed my smile lines when he arrived at my door
I didn’t think he noticed my smile at all
Almost ashamed to see me as I am,
maybe he’s looking through me to see the end of his reason
for coming
the noise of the background thoughts requires my attention
to keep me safe from acknowledging that he doesn’t see me
I don’t know how my name sounds rolling off his tongue
I’m not even sure anymore if I am truly his destination or
if I’m a pre-determined destination that he forgot to remove from his gps
I opened my world and he willingly walked in
We both understood, is what he says
And we both understood
“It is what it is” often turns to “I didn’t know what it
could become” and
“if I had only known”
But we know, we knew and now we move on
I feel the bond that he doesn’t and know it’s of my own
conditioning
To find anyone that will allow my love to abide inside
His heart was full of the many who sit and wonder if he even
saw their smile lines
The closest I can get to his heart is a random text simply
saying “Hey you.”
Years go by and numbers forgotten, faces lost in the crowd
and my loneliness sustains itself
But “Hey you” arrives and I still find myself smiling;
though I hate that I do
He doesn’t know me
He only knew me
He doesn’t want me
He just wanted me
It was convenient to want me without the wanting
I found myself wanting what I couldn’t have
While he had what he didn’t want
Match made in dysfunctional social heaven
We’re all citizens
We will haunt each other for the rest of our days
Because we know that somewhere in the world is an empty soul
That matches our own
Even if we cannot confess it to ourselves
(c) 2023 Tara L. Aldridge, Weeping Fountain Books
